conservative comedy propaganda

Soooo I had a first last night around three am, I watched a movie with a conservative agenda and enjoyed it. Anyone who has watched american carol knows what I'm talking about. I hate bill o'reily with a passion but he was okay in this film. Kids go watch this movie it's funny as hell. Screw the conservatives, but watch this movie. Kudos to those facists for making something funny.

CRH
LFT

to all the pagans and nonbelievers

Maybe you're right, but please forgive the christians for being so boastful about their god. I'm not saying I don't believe in jewsus and that whole shibang. I just write from an objectional point of view. I just think about it sometimes late at night, what if instead of one person being right and the rest being wrong, what if we're all right? What would be so bad about that? why can't anyone ever propose that?


I want to be positive and optimistic. I know I can do it, but it's a bum out that everyone else is intent on being shitheads.


Charles H.
LFT

earwork

I've been trying to check out as many bands as possible on my "list"(the list is compromised of bands i have overlooked, never quite had a chance to check out, or bands I've heard about but put it off. )So the past week or so has been a crazy storm of earwork ranging from the pleasing and the not so pleasing. new discoveries include the discography of jawbreaker, rites of spring, and godspeed you! black emperor. I also am thinking about getting debtor's stuff. It makes me feel pretty dumb to find this music i previously overlooked. It's like looking at toulouse-lautrec's paintings for the first time. it's almost too flawed to enjoy and then it slowly works at you till you understand the flaws are not flaws but wrinkles, smile lines, freckles, etc. On a real note, it excites me to hear good music and I've been kind of dancing around it lately, life is doing me a solid. thank god for good music, and i guess thank satan for letting bands like mest,  katy perry, and angels and airwaves for making my favorite bands seem like jesus walking across the proverbal sea of heartless tunage.

favorite cd's of 2008

Polar bear club - sometimes things disapear
Paint it black - new lexicon
New found glory - tip of the iceberg ep
Blacklisted - heavier than heaven, lonelier than god
H20 - nothing to prove
Conor oberst - conor oberst
Cursed - 3
Have heart - songs to scream at the sun
New verse
Hostage caln - lens

yesterday, there were marching bands in my legs, now, there's broken drum sticks in my feet

novel vision fades with real life attitude
like the letters on my old street's graffiti
Now I wave at the travelers passing by
but I remember a boy dreaming of being wild
there used to be a marching band in my legs
cheering me on as I take each step
now there's broken drum sticks strewn in my feet
I hear god's stride like a wooden floor's weighted creak
give me answers, give me clues
give me anything, what am I to you
I'm a horse to break, a hen to produce
I'm a fly in the coffee, struggling to die
summer was cruel for a wayward kid
a lonely sanctum for two to three months
but as soon as it arrived it was handing out goodbyes
we were left to figure ourselves out in plain sight
Christmas had less martyr than an average holiday
but they treated it kindly, said their prayers
we consumed like we were told, flew the seasonal colors
but were left as lonely as before

sebacious(the real song)

I'm physically busting at the seams
from the 22 years of eating
they shovel in the grief
and I swallow and gorge politely
I'm physically making myself sick
pale skin as torn and green as my eyes
I want to push the plate away
but I keep waiting for seconds
Give me strength whoever is in control
Am I waiting for no one? Am I just weak?
I'm emotionally vacant forever
suspended and detached from life
I can only dream of ordinary
and speculate what you feel like
I'm emotionally stale like sun fried grass
a canopy for the living
if I had a chance to breathe
I wouldn't know what to do with it
Give me strength whoever is in control
Am I waiting for no one? Am I just weak?
Defamation at my chubby finger tips

Dine In Tax

rest our name and reputation on the shelves

don't debate it, the bank doors open at nine am

neuter my heart for the clearance rack by the door

when they leave, we'll move units and opinion will drift

cork the argument, just promise your commercial best

slosh through the chords to find the familiar, find the familiar

if this dream had any dead president on either side

It'd be a smirking george Jr.
They've fell asleep on the trigger
we're making sure we pay the dine in tax
You can have your fast food lifestyle

I need something clean and fresh
auto-tune the gravel in my throat to spit pure sugar
fumble my lifeblood cause I care little for guitar
I only play my greed compass to sniff out the cash in
let's choreograph our angst and piss on our own legs
the ears and the eyes will agree, we're the new old
champions from the sewage of "punk is dead"
I'm going to leave it all for the first suit at my door
I'm going to regurgitate every sell out speech
They've fell asleep on the trigger
we're making sure we pay the dine in tax
You can have your fast food lifestyle
I need something clean and fresh
I'm content but not docile

I'm livid but not mad

I'm pissed but steady

I keep my heart seperate from the checkbook

dine in tax

Did you know that most fast food restruants charge you extra to dine in? Isn't that weird? You learn lots of small things while on tour.

day seven

So we've been staying with On My Honor for the past two days outside of knoxville. The off day of the tour was cool. The kids went to guitar center and michael and I went to see the new punisher. It was cock rock from start to finish. He was punching through heads and blowing bad guys up left and right.if anyone reads this blog, go check out on my honor, they were super cool to us. Also, if it helps to motivate you... They're actually good, so hit them up.

CRH

5th day in

We're playing at a saloon tonight. One thing that I noticed that I had forgotten about drunk people is the amount of cologne or perfume they wear. Which it doesn't make sense because most of the people in these effing places are bellowing out smoke like crazy. So I guess it's an attempt to cover up that offensive smell of beer, liquor, and cigarettes. I don't know if this is our crowd but we're going to rock out anyway.


Soooooo, to continue the description of the night... the show ended up being ballin like crazy. The drunkards mingled with the local fans of on my honor(they hosted the show). I think it all turned out really awesome. The guys from on my honor gave us a place to stay which lead to the two incredible caps on the evening:

A. I was able to cook and prepare tia peanut sauce ramonam

B. I was able to sleep on a couch, awesome
Rightez

day four

So I was able to take a shower today, and it felt amazing. I forgot to bring a towel and soap. Even without those, hot water running over my nastiness was super refreshing. I want to tour forever. This is an insane amount of fun. We played to two people tonight and it was still a kickarse show. We just rocked our little crowd and skeedaddled. The owner of the venue let us stay with him. He has a super nice family and a cool place. God bless whoever invented diy touring!


crh

so third day of mini refrigeraTOUR

I'm sitting with zack in a mall somewhere north of chattanooga, there's a speaker blaring stuttering christmas music next to my head and I smell like the human manifestation of a locker room toilet. Friday in peachtree city I fell through the damn stage and almost broke my leg. Thank god my parents built me to be a sturdy old battle axe. I just want a shower so I can stop running away from the balls smell being emitted from my crotch. I'm pretty stoked on tour though. Five people showed up to the show last night, it was prolly the most rocking thing ever.

CRH

"stay posi, stay clean"

I've seen room fulls living like creeps from one escape to the next
I carried myself like a hermit once and life just gave me shit
You can't make lemonade with human waste, all you can do is flush
turned the lights on, left the room, purpose left the creepers crushed
I sided with indifference hard, falling when my conscious let me
But it doesn't mean I didn't try, the expense of failure has it's fee
function moved my agenda in, ambitions were quick to claim their seat
pissing razors has nothing on guilt, I'm a motivational hit and run stuck on repeat
I believe we can stay posi, stay clean, and still play to defiance
I believe I can waiver ill temperament, my own visceral diet
I've seen graduating classes swim in 150 proof quickly to swerve home in the dark
I swam deep, touched bottom, then fell asleep while manually steering the car
You can't be saved with pickled lungs and a stone liver to match
You can however call the scars friends, trip into meaning with misdirected romance
the soc's call it a social coma, boss can keep calling me a prude,
I call it surprisingly agnostic yet always closely heaven approved
my life isn't stillborn, it's a am track train with no brakes
I'm don't know where I'm going, but moving to me in any direction is all the same

italian recut

damn this empty space in my head being filled with useless mechanics
one chance was the gift I was given and now I'll pull it forward
the tribe has superstitions, they'll burn any swift tongue at the stake
but I'm free to roam like a buffalo in this inner city zoo cage
it's a conversation between me and society
a shouting match with everyone else winning
I'll hold my pride under for the next few years
I know I'm just an animal waiting to be skinned
me in fifteen years? I'm aware of our collective vision
I'll be broken like a horse, mugged by the building tension
rise then fall, I'll stand then crawl towards small open hands
I won't be afraid to say, I'm fucked and happy with my existence
it's a conversation between me and society
a shouting match with everyone else winning
I'll hold my pride under for the next few years
I know I'm just an animal waiting to be skinned
some things aren't the same as you begin to increase in age
I've always hoped for the best, now I pray for it
some things aren't the same as you begin to increase in age
I've always hoped for the best, now I pray for it
I'm not big enough for change
but I'm big enough to piss you off
I'll always be this way
because I can be

reputable unknown seeking profitable gain

I want to tour anartica, box polar bears for gas/
the irony is it's more promising than booking in Birmingham/
city kids just don't give a shit, why do we still love these shows/
we pay bills and work our jobs, we don't care we're fucking broke/
sorry, sorry but you'd never book us anyway/
sorry, sorry, the elites don't approve/
sorry, sorry but you'd never book us anyway/
sorry, sorry, I don't need you to approve/
new city, new cold floor, and mall punks to mock my band/
of course I'm as happy as a pig bleeding to death/
I joke on you like I joke on me and my oldest friends/
you're not above my humor even with these benediction trends/
sorry, sorry but you'd never book us anyway/
sorry, sorry, the elites don't approve/
sorry, sorry but you'd never book us anyway/
sorry, sorry, I don't need you to approve/
forgive a small town kid for fucking up worship/
you all seem to be very cool in that indie film kind of way/
I'll leave you to your victims and your good, clean fun/
I'll find a dark corner, i didn't mean to step into frame/
booking hell is hell in itself/
you're cool like Christmas eve/
booking hell is hell in itself/
long live your scene/

Fun times

we went to b'ham today to track our kd cover with Austin from RSJ. We had to retrack it after the intial recording with our friend from Madison didn't turn out that well. He was a super cool dude and he had a very chill set up. I really enjoy recording in people's houses. Home studios are the shit.

After we were done we went to michael and corey's gf's house. I'm sitting in the livingroom typing this beast up. I don't really have much to say besides I'm stoked on breathing.



Charles H.
LFT

stay posi

Staying up all night to send out dozens of emails trying to book a tour that no one really wants to see.

Driving an hour and a half to play a shitty show to a crowd that mocks you.

Mall punks in their early thirties saying, "I want to hear a breakdown"

Finding out my italian recut zombi: dawn of the dead is exactly like the american release of dawn of the dead.

Waiting to get back home to eat after a day without food and then only eating honey buns and cheese chex mix



None of these things get me down, I'm posi like there's no tomorrow. It feels so good to see the gold rim around the dirty dish. I really understand those bubbly bastards that everyone hates to be around. I'm not saying this world isn't fucked, but I believe everyone should feel pretty awesome that we don't live in a crazy hell hole torn by war. The usa is okay, not the best, not the worst, but it's definately not as bad as some. We have our greed, coruption, crazy fundementalists, crazy liberals, consumerism, barbaric traditions, prejudice, and bigotry, BUT it's not as bad as some places.

Stay posi,
Charles H.

'inside this"

I was never a fan of fair weather bands
they love the scene when it keeps them fed
contracts mark the change, a slew of calls
I just want to tour and play like the rest

If you wanted this, if you needed this
you should have known before
If you wanted this, if you needed this
this life would have never been a chore

there's a roll call at birth for those moving forward
I answered I think, but I'll never really know
If I didn't, I'll chase down this life like a wild dog
but I won't die with regret or the thought of what I left

I was never a fan of alpha male stepdads
they keep you down to keep themselves up
praise a divorce between two grown children at best
I just want to live in peace and feel free to think

media, art, appearence

I argue with myself a lot and both sides always have really good points. This house is divided, but it makes for a pretty cool checking of judgment. K, so I've been talking with Cory and Lou about some of our ad's, etc. and it has put me in a mood where I constantly second guess my first decision on a matter, which could be cool. K, anyway.. so the subject is thus. I feel like we don't need ten trillion promo shots of us splattered all over the net and whatever media our underground culture has because:

A. Our image has nothing to do with this band or who we are as individuals
B. If you see a goofy ass band, even if the promo shot looks awesome, it can turn you off from the band. People will sometimes make an instant decision on something because of it's appearance.

So, my idea is keep most of our ad's ambiguous to a degree where we are branded by the material and not the image. The reason I say this is because a lot of the bands are hyped on the mold of their genre, in an age of endless media we have a set idea of what everything should look like. Kids will consciously and unconsciously reject you if you don't fit into what they consider to be what you should be.

Here's the problem, I don't give a shit what people think about me. I love my band and I think we're okay and I am confident in the material. Now as a intelligent guy I know what a safe investment is and I know you shouldn't throw money into any pit of fire. So we have a problem, we will spend the money on the ad's and they will go to print. So play it smart or play it "I don't give a fuck"?

I don't give a fuck doesn't always work out. also there is a certain amount of my ideals on the ambiguous ad's side, because then the music and material will be judged for what it is, and not what we look like. fuck me.

drop out and go broke tour

Sooo, tour so far. We have played three dates so far on this week tour because last Saturday after packing up to leave to our date in TN we turned our vehicle on to find nothing, we actually didn't turn on the vehicle. We turned the key and heard a click. Well after hours of tinkering and finally figuring out that there was no way this thing was going to run, we called and canceled the show. We hate doing this. So the next day we try to fix it ourselves and found out quickly Michael and I are no mechanics. We had to get a tow truck to take it to seretha's uncle who is a mechanic. The man prestigiously did the work at the cost of the expenses and we got the beast running. Well we drove down the road and we found out the speedometer didn't work. We had to take it back for that, so three hours before we had to leave for the show we didn't cancel we got the 4runner back and we left.

K, so we find the venue in peachtree city, and it's rocking. Lonely as shit and camping deep in the business side of town, this warehouse is empty besides one band and our friends in the disregardables. Jett hooked us up with some pasta and a place to stay that night. We spent the night talking with chex and crew about music, etc. The next day we headed to Augusta.

The traffic on 75 going to 20 east was ridiculous, people are godless beast in high traffic. We finally hit 20 east and everything was smooth sailing from there. We ended up coming a day early because we couldn't fill in a date for Thursday. Cory from our label was super awesome and i think he was everything we expected him to be. We talked music, movies, and business till his dad went to sleep for work and then we hit the sack. The next day we all woke up, took a shower, and hit up the local wally world for some 2 dollar meals. The show at Skate city was pretty cool, though very cold. The first band took two hours to set up and start their set. they were a bunch of high school metalcore kids writing 03 tunes, the second band was pretty good, they sounded very similar to cartel and fob, and then we stepped up to the plate and stuttered through our set at a breakneck speed. That's how we do, when we're nervous... we just play fast and hard, and hope kids get it.

Today we're playing a sector 7g, coming back to cory's for one more night, then taking the seven hour drive back home. So far the name of this tour has been perfect. drop out and go broke. I still think it's a wonderful thing though. Everything feels super good.

hope

For once in my life, I felt proud of my country. We all know what day I'm talking about.. it was November 4th, 2008. I can remember when I still believed in the shit I ranted about. It was a long time ago, before all these pack mules for discipline ate away my heart. I can't really remember when it was lost, maybe it was the time I spent with the underbelly of an inbred faction of the mall punks and the dopey counter culture. All the seedy afternoons spent downing drugs and searching the stars for meaning and truth. After years of pursuit it leaves a heavy hangover. I came out of the haze grasping for a breath of reality. it was a literal mind fuck, and we were promiscuous with our minds because it was killing two birds with one stone: we were disconnecting from society and it was an intellectual excuse to sit on our asses and waste away. After what I'd like to call my sobering period, I looked around and saw a futile youth clawing at the heel of real competence. We had given up our minds to a social machine of intoxication and that's how we were losing. Forget the long arm of the man coming late at night in our bedrooms to give out free reach arounds to any dirty, indifferent bag of shit, we were fucking ourselves with a smile on our face. I am the machine, my friends are the machine, we are the grinding gears of social irrevelance. So I started trying to make things happen with music. It was one of the few things left untainted in my life. I pushed the chords out, birthed some lyrics, and slipped into a new attitude to take on my duty as a human being. I wanted to be in step with social consciousness. Out of the years spent doing so, I learned the footwork for change. it wa s aslow persistance to move forward, over obstacles, over set backs, through opposition and the heirachy of natural selection. I made my postion work for me.


well, I never really thought about any of it coming to a head, atleast to a point where I could sit down and look at the tv screen and be like, wow, there's change. I just witnessed it. I felt it in my heart. We just moved. As a nation, we took one step forward.

it was prolly one of the most beautiful things I've every taken part in, and it changed me from a dead cell of hope, to an ember of fucking militant rage. I will not stand for the things i know are wrong anymore. this is me at full speed and I'm going to fucking break the safety on my mind just so I can work at full speed. I love myself and I love my fellow man. Together we'll make everything we hope for happen.

the heart of the american dream

I just watched another documentary on hunter s. thompson and as always, it was pretty awe inspiring. His words are so fucking strong and honest. He is the single greatest writer at capturing the bastardization of the American dream. He pens the depravity of a capitalist nation full of car salesmen like a fucking one eye'd man in a room full of the blind.


love it,


crh
lft

two song demo

"Joking Sovereignty : an empire of grief"

if there's a lesson to be learned
the lesson's in your head
grief isn't sovereign
it's like a cloud in the distance
the rain feeds life
so why add to standing water
why add, why add
to any real problems you have

you're building an empire of grief
brick by fucking brick
it stands as tall as your arms will let it

i saw some high school friends
at the movies yesterday
they reminded me of who i am
and who i use to be
I'm so glad that
happiness is now familiar
I don't have to die for
the credibility of my art

you're building an empire of grief
brick by fucking brick
it stands as tall as your arms will let it

thank Buddha, Allah, or god, whoever you believe in
for gracing my face with this smile
like it's out of our fucking hands?

"Sebaceous"

from under smells mugging my every mood
this greasy hair won't cut it, i need to cut it
gritty taste at every wake, but i still won't brush
I've got people to avoid and things to forget to do
some of these statements are true but none are related
clean cut, no rust sometimes means the worst of the worst
ugly and functioning, I'm a machine for errands
spend some time with me on the underbelly of everything

old friends

You ever run into people and through explaining what you've done over the past years, you realize how you're a completely different person than what you used to be? This is a rhetorical question because no one reads this bastard... yeah.

It's just insane to think who I was and who I am. I can actually let myself be happy now. I mean, not saying it's not a struggle, because it is. I'm just saying every fucking moment of my life is purpose filled and not like in a religious, "I need to create an ominous figure to fill purposeful." way. I'm saying I know what's right and I feel good on a daily basis making those things happen around me. It feels good to do good and know it will prolly never repay you. I think that's my main hang up on Christianity, not the philosophy but the organized cult aspect. People don't do things cause it's good, they trick themselves into thinking that if they do good, they will be rewarded for it later on. Why do you need to be rewarded to do good if you are truly good? What if god came down and was like, "Even if you obey me, you will still burn forever and i will take away everything you ever loved." How many Christians would throw in the towel and start fucking, fighting, drinking, swearing, raping, stealing, etc. I mean, seriously... why do you need someone or something to give you a reward for doing good? You know what's good mostly just by interacting with other human beings, you know how you get treated and you know how you want to be treated. Why do you need a reward to follow through with that? I don't know, it's pretty fucking selfish, the whole idea... worship, serve, but at the same time reward? It's a trick into thinking you're not doing the selfish thing by the first two actions but the real reason most follow the rules is because of the last. Yeah, we don't mind doing good, but we better get all our community hours counted so we don't end up serving time, know what i mean?

Anyway, the point of this whole conversation was for me to state, I was an idiot a long time ago and I'm kind of still an idiot. The difference is now i strive for something bigger than me and that really makes me happy. It was something i couldn't find a long time ago through whatever drugs i took and whatever alcohol i consumed. I'm glad i found peace. i didn't mean for this blog to turn into a rant on religion, but i see liars and fakes spiting snakes covered in bible verses every day. it's sicking to take something and twist it till it covers your body of lies.

Eastern Frontier

So lft is going to start touring and being broke for a living. I'm extremely stoked because before we came to this point, I was doing the whole broke lifestyle as a hobby. Being broke is the worst hobby you can have.... But on a real note, words can't even describe how happy I am to even get to hit the road. We're going to be playing new cities every night to promote for our full length. I mean, no one is going to instantly become a fan after they hear us live, but there's a chance they might be intrigued and then follow that curiosity to our page.

New landscapes, accents, smells, attitudes, foods, and venues every night for months at a time. We're going to just sweep across this eastern frontier like a southern wind of punk rock. Loads of experiences just crammed into one short span of time. The kids will be learning quick and I'll have to be learning quicker. Thank god, Buddha, or whoever is in charge of giving us this chance.

domestication with house plants

I'm going to write a hardback novel
it's going to dazzle and amaze every mind that refuses to be happy
they'll cough up quotes like a tb patients running marathons
It'll be a provocative bore

I'm going to write a movement on a stone tablet
everyone will dance elegantly for discipline
I'll whisper brimstone, I'll laugh with ease
I'll be the best reason for your kids to hate you

I'm going to sleep on the couch till five PM
visitors will scream as they gather around
They'll beg for change, they'll deliver emptiness
and I'll sleep to sleep in again

Tripping Balls

A long time ago I use to do lots of drugs and I would probably consider myself to be shady. I guess I thought that the drugs would alter my perspective on things. I ate shrooms, snorted cocaine, huffed ether, drank and ate a mess load of mysterious items to alter my state of mind. All of this was to get a different view. I guess I thought somehow I'd consume whatever drug it was and I'd find beauty. But it never made sense, now looking back on those times, I never fully understood what was happening to me and what was going on. i was so quick to find another reality and I couldn't even comprehend the one in my lap. As you get older, you don't really need stuff like that to pull inspiration from, cause if you're living a full life, you have an overload of inspiration to draw from. The first four years out of high school is completely insane. Everything you thought you knew, you don't and everything you hated slowly turns into a mirror. You look around and what you thought was a hell hole becomes a softly lit room, perfect for you. The ups are really downs, and the downs are really ups.

here's another thing I found, sometimes saying the most meaningful statements are really the easiest things to say. You think something is complex and overwhelming, it's really just a new old waiting to be picked. Poetic moments are usually easy and warm. It's not this cold meticuleous, stoic collection of verse and ryhme. It's a fucking gentle beast that hugs you into submission. It's something you can't fight with logic and skill. It happens and then it's gone.

It's so goddamn insane how simple and beautiful life is but everyone is just set on putting a cigarette out on it.

eleven eleven

I'm pretty certain this is the final title to lft's new album. It means a lot to me personally. It reminds me of all the nights for the past three and half years when I had nothing going for me except these songs and this band. I'd be struggling with justifying my existence, struggling with even wanting to do this, and eleven eleven rolled around and I always wished for the same thing. Anything could have happened that day and when I saw eleven eleven hit the clock I knew what I wanted.through being homeless, my mom being sent to prison, breakup's, mental breakdowns, and every woe that's stricken me over the years. I knew what I wanted when eleven eleven came. This world tried to drown me in piss, but I found a turd to keep me afloat until everything was flushed away, ha.

genre bending

I want to be more creative, I sometimes feel like I have to dumb myself down for people around me to get my writing. Maybe instead me having to dumb myself down, people should smart themselves up. Ha... that's a great argument with really bad grammar. I'm a fool when it comes to the English language, but I have billions of ideas. I want to paint the alley ways with words and metaphors. I want the reader to swim in my thoughts. I don't want to offer up kool-aid when my guests need milk. Does anyone understand? No, no one even reads. Even if they did they'd write me off as a pretentious ass.

nothing fancy

I wish I had more things about me that I could use to entertain peopl. Wouldn't that be super cool if I could do hat tricks or cartwheels? Everyone has something cool they can do, then it comes around to my turn and like charlie brown said, "I got a rock." Haha, does anyone remember life with louie? It was a cartoon series in the mid to late nineties about louie andersons childhood. When I was a kid my first step dad would always call me louie because I was a chubby, weird detached kid. I think we are all the same person were at eight. We're just adult characatures of our childhood selves. I'm the same person I was, core wise. Lots of things have changed but it's more of the situations have turned into adult situations. I'm basically the same, just the things I deal with are different.

Final Fantasy X

Christian and I have been bonding over this game for the past two weeks. Also, doing that whole yard work lumberjack deal too. It's fun to work with friends.

It's been so long since I've really hung out with friends. Everything has been an endless march onto music. It's kind of like rushing the beat, I've been spending so much energy trying to keep things going that I'm making everything discordant and rough. My life is a stuttering jumble.

I'm like a clown juggling foster kids who are in return while I'm juggling them, juggling chainsaws

defense

I think projection is the most common defense mechanism. I was just looking through a lot of older blogs and I noticed I often tear myself apart just to know how to tear someone else apart. It's funny, my best weapon is my own faults. The more you understand yourself the more you understand "your enemies", why you're creating art, and if this is all just one big bandaide for a much bigger problem. I have lots of problems but I think it's safe to say I've explored them all thoroughly and music is a small bandaide for my problems. It helps, but for me to get rid of the shit storm in my closet I'd need two hundred grand in theropy to deal. It'd be like shoveling shit at a farm with five hundred horses with a teaspoon.

writing never ends

I constantly question my intelligence, because I hear people claim it often when I don't really agree with their opinion. Am I one of those people? Are you really that intelligent when you have to claim it like a cheap tatto at every social gathering or huddle of individuals? It should be a trait that is bestowed upon you, not bought at every bonus store on every corner. Back to the question, I write to write better, but I'm not sure if my intelligence will keep my writing dull. Piss I just want to pick up a pen and have this shit flow. Like kicking a garbage can over in the street.

so worried

it's insane how tense I've been lately. this thing with the kids parents is stressign me the hell out. I've told them that I'll meet any requirements they have so the kids can tour but they don't have any requirements. They just have all these crazy "what if"'s. I understand it's their children, but you only have one set span to live. These kids have been working semi-hard on making this band work. Musically they all contribute to lft. It's just insane to let your kids excell at something and then not take it all the way. I mean, if tese kids were playing baseball and they got to go to regionals, then nationals.. would their parents have a problem with it? It kills me because I know how much it's going to kill them if their parents don't chill on this.

editorial correction

In an earlier blog I posted that I wasn't naturally an angry person, but in reality I'm a very angry person. I see people dodging ignorance daily, having to curve their every thought when their peer is too dense to do the same for them. I have a intolerance for this senseless habit. What's so wrong with being respectful? Why must we be condesending without right or cause? I stay pissed at all times. Everyone is dying to listen to themselves preach. Well I have a few words for these people and you can bet they will be exercised with all future lft releases.

forward

Can a document of small town social climate be considered a forward motion, or is it just a kick in the can for pop culture? I don't want to consider myself in the same ranks as paris hilton. I guess everyone wants to be on the front of every social movement. It's a scarey thing to evaluate your place in the big picture.

splitting hairs with ex-friends

we can pretend in the house of swine
we remember good times
fuck those drugs we shared on weekends
it only kept us on the fringe
graduation brought an end to courtesy
if only I could ever make you believe
there's good in men's heart
there's good in you and me

cultural poise

I feel like I'm being attacked by the tv. Just complete overload when it comes to pop culture, too much reality, too much make up, too much editing, too much gentlmen juice coming at my eyes and ears.a dump truck of media parking on my chest. Fooooooking nasty and debilitating.

PREEEEtentious

sometimes striving for better work can just come off as a selfish struggle. I mean I write music for a combination of reasons: for the kids who need decent bands to relate to; To keep what i consider decent music alive and breathing; to extract all my passive aggressive behavior into a constructive form; and generally not to feel so insignificant. So it's half selfish and half artistic.

wellllllll, then I started to think about it, most artists are into art for selfish reasons. they might not display it daily but really, why else would you sit around trying to think of a way to creatively say you're like everyone else and you want to share that with the world. Just the fact that someone would think they are blessed enough to be able to entertain a crowd with their thoughts and feelings is pretty conceded. the more and more I think about it, the more I agree with the pissy Charles inside.

BUUUTTTT, then you have moments where you play a show and everyone there is having a great time, yelling their heads off, and then you know why.. we're literally creating a piece of heaven on earth. This sense of community and warmth between everyone. We're all sweating, screaming, and having fun. No one feels out of place. You just feel like you belong, you're accepted, someone understands you, and that makes going back to a hostile home worth it. You know it doesn't matter if you're a fatty, smell weird, act strange, or generally can't get along with the general human population, cause when you're here.. you know the bands, they're your friends, you know what they're about cause you know their lyrics, and they don't have to technically relate to you as an individual.. they have your music and your band to know, be friends with, to listen to...


maybe I'm an idiot, but that's the way I feel

Mary Magda-laid

Read between the finds, it's no season to end as a saint
After centuries of dancing in hell, you're finally dying in heaven
let the church have the pleasure of defecating on your legacy
cause no one knows where we all go unless it's expo facto

the fury of faith keeps us choked out by the belt
that lays our southern states askew
as we ants run from the magnifier
the corpses of free thought conquer the skyline

love held beneath the pool should keep the manners intact
whores don't bleed like us unless you pay them
even if the lies held water like a bare glass
would you still be right to judge or be judged?

the fury of faith keeps us choked out by the belt
that lays our southern states askew
as we ants run from the magnifier
the corpses of free thought conquer the skyline

Muse Or Remuse

styrofoam kisses blew off and on
she says she's chaos scripted on tanned skin
if I could muster the mustard to smile
I'd know the weaker side of me would win
sea, the world, a vast ocean ever churning
you're one grain following it's motion
high hopes to low tides on the coolest of nights
you're not worth the breath, nor the commotion

You're not that moving
inertia bled too long for me
my feet move forward forever
no matter how sheltered the canopy

invite me in, the best in is out
though the trivial beg to differ, I've already been found

shuttered and whispered, it's a little dead skin
I want more than friction, beg me for solace
temporary and meaningless to an cracked chest
a home without doors is secure demolished
towards the east, I rise towards misfortune
waiting for myself, I'm south of future mistakes
directions give me nowhere, a shot in the air
hands earning comfort leave me the same

You're not that moving
inertia bled too long for me
my feet move forward forever
no matter how sheltered the canopy

invite me in, the best in is out
though the trivial beg to differ, I've already been found

"drop the flood"

drop the flood, I'm ready for the next welterweight
the weaker the swing the better I feel at night
like a two bedroom bottle with a wondrous view
the cusp of your hand cradles me to sleep

spiders and no future never scared me
your eyes and stern voice made me shake
We chased arguments like snitches and debtors
but I'm using the memories for kindle , you should do the same

work the corners, bleed for more men than me
I'm tired, I'm finding rude very comfortable to do
do you want the feeling intact and everything alright
find something useful to do while I find the truth

grooms aren't made, choices and toys are made
I'll locate the workshop and destroy the catty workers
like a gift horse coughing up verses of a prophet
one look will put you riding shotgun

spiders and no future never scared me
your eyes and stern voice made me shake
We chased arguments like snitches and debtors
but I'm using the memories for kindle , you should do the same

work the corners, bleed for more men than me
I'm tired, I'm finding rude very comfortable to do
do you want the feeling intact and everything alright
find something useful to do while I find the truth

Sparklers are grossly inappropriate for the funeral

run to the kitchen, find every sharp untensil, inhale deeply
soak your lungs in epson salt till the hours become days
throw all your money at the mirror, wipe until the brown becomes green
hope for a day it all means as little to you as it does to me

sleep, eat, sing out of key
sleep
eat
sing out of key

Will the scales of judgment weigh the plasma screen
Will the gravestone read she dined expensively
or will it read her hands were steady in the turmoil

I would pay the down payment for a better life,
if most aspects were a self-employed right

crash the teeth, the miles climb higher, forget to breathe
no book will put the next foot forward, to hell with it
Bunk in the closet, wait for Cain to whisper a will
disappear, the clouds rain piss and complaints here

sleep, eat, sing out of key
sleep
eat
sing out of key

Will the scales of judgment weigh the plasma screen
Will the gravestone read she dined expensively
or will it read her hands were steady in the turmoil

I would pay the down payment for a better life,
if most aspects were a self-employed right

Here's a fun way to write albums

pretend every word and idea will define you as a band.



while we're talking about it, I'm thinking our next album should be called The Bomb Kids.

here's the tracking listing.

1. I'm ready to sell out, piss on crowds, and start some kind of drug addiction.
2. Break dance, not jaws
3. My friends tell me you're the guy to see when it comes to premiere German weaponry
4. Curse, apologize, excuse yourself
5. Numbers, above all else
6. Circle pits give you street cred
7. I spend my days and nights worrying about you
8. Drop the flood
9. One more year for the lady
10. Sparklers will be highly inappropriate for the funeral
11. 256
12. Too old to sleep
13. Fire me

I'll have the lyrics up in a bit, I think.

another backyard fumble

It seems like that fat kid mentality will never escape me. Every time someone relies on me, I fumble the ball at the goal line because I'm out of breathe and hungry. Self-loathing is another hobby that won't go away. I feel bad, I feel worse, and it just gets better.



pisssssszzz

The Bomb Kids

as I swam out the bathroom/ all eyes attempted to not notice/
swallowing the knife and avoiding the lights/ they'd have to dig deep for resolution
one ear turned at the drip/ she knew the sound as my heavy shell hit
I was out like at the end of senior year and quiet like in nineth grade/ twelve cuts cut all the risk

Leave your pity, take the guilt
I'm only looking for a warmth I once read about
no gravestones or dramatic line of cars
Just tired and damn sure of it

when my mind is sure then my hands will follow

I grazed a life not lost, but abandoned/ sunken in to a cool, dry place in my head/
away from the hum of a fleshy machine/ I felt a weight on my chest/

Leave your pity, take the guilt
I'm only looking for a warmth I once read about
no gravestones or dramatic line of cars
Just tired and damn sure of it

when my mind is sure then my hands will follow

cancer

being a cancer should be a condition. the bleeding whiny heart of society. always feeling like the victim in every situation. I mean, it's all complete bullshit and you know it, but you always feel it. You have to keep you head above your own pity or you'll end up looking like an ass in almost any atmosphere. I just realized a lot of people around me view me in this light. Oh well, they can keep on thinking what they want. Faith may be able to move mountains but it can not change anyone's mind. So my faith in humans will still march on, but it prolly won't change anyone's opinion of me.

Thoughts I know are true

I think I want to write super catchy music. Music that everyone can enjoy. I want to write music that in five years, I won't think is ridiculous. I have never been overly aggressive guy so why would any hostility come across in the music I create. I know why, and it's really simple. You grow up hearing things and feeling things, sooner or later all of that emotion is going to come out in any form it can. So my lyrics are stereotypically passive-aggressive or straight out pissy. I've grown into a artist that expresses his inner fat kid feelings. I let people walk all over me when I have a lion locked away in my chest and I have the key in my hands. Why? I want to break the f**king cycle. Heal me hands, my strength is the only that I can rely on.



CRH

bloom till it hurts

bloom till it hurts
stretch till your fingers pass the tree tops
when other vegetation becomes jealous
leave the mowers running hard at your feet

leave the labels for canned goods
cause I'm a living breathing thing
don't make an assessment till you see me
preserved and waiting on your shelf

maybe some day, a garden won't seem so threatening
and when you're plants are leaning hard towards the sun
your first thought won't be regrow for failure

Piss on bed sheets

literally I'm out if being cool is in
I'm older, not wiser, responsibility is just an illusion for comments passed under work tables

Grammar, gentleman's rules, and all that mispelling
can go straight to hell
the deepest region that drag-ass Lucy-fer has

I'm a little tired of this and that
cause that isn't me, and this is just an inverted image of you

piss on bed sheets, pillow cases, and pajama pants
when I sleep, I won't care anymore

that funny looking dude in the sky

Anger is not the best suit to wear to a wedding
although it might get you through the door
some might agree with me, force is rape
so when I say, "you're being rude by even asking"
take the ominous broken broken bottle being waved at your throat as a hint
I'm not the best at swallowing the religious abuse

Chords, Clangs, And Misinterpreted BS

So this is my first blog on this beast of a site. It's a trendy bus to jump in front of. so is not using commas and ending sentences with prepositions.

My band just recorded it's first album and I'm already feeling regrets on choices made in the studio. I haven't even heard a rough copy of the material, besides what I heard while tracking vocals, and I keep thinking back on the amount of energy that went into the writing. What seemed like a long time to us was most likely a very short time. A month and a half from shows is hell to the boys in Latin For Truth. Though we're horrible live, we enjoy shows. Speakin' of what we enjoy, I really enjoy the blank stares when we're on the bill with a bunch of brutal bands that make my band look like kittens swatting at a dandelion. I'm not a kitten swatting at a dandelion, I'm a motherf**king bear picking gosh darn salmon from the heavily flowing stream. That stream being an over-infested scene, full of hairspray, camo shorts, and a very unhealthy addiciton to myspace. I want lft to just jump on the huge wave of bands that blow up over myspace. one click turns into four, four turns into twenty, twenty turns into one hundred.. BOOM, pete wentz is asking if FOB can open for us. I'm not really being serious, or am I? Are we just another band trying to get our peepee's sucked or are we trying to just find a way to make a living off what we love. Are we the preachers on tv asking people to pay for a prayer or your local guy just asking to feed his family and do what his heart knows is right. Fifty percent bullshit, fifty percent sincerety. All the way down the line. You'll always have to either A. know me or B. be really amazing at guessing.

Signing off,
Charles Birchfield