stay posi

Staying up all night to send out dozens of emails trying to book a tour that no one really wants to see.

Driving an hour and a half to play a shitty show to a crowd that mocks you.

Mall punks in their early thirties saying, "I want to hear a breakdown"

Finding out my italian recut zombi: dawn of the dead is exactly like the american release of dawn of the dead.

Waiting to get back home to eat after a day without food and then only eating honey buns and cheese chex mix



None of these things get me down, I'm posi like there's no tomorrow. It feels so good to see the gold rim around the dirty dish. I really understand those bubbly bastards that everyone hates to be around. I'm not saying this world isn't fucked, but I believe everyone should feel pretty awesome that we don't live in a crazy hell hole torn by war. The usa is okay, not the best, not the worst, but it's definately not as bad as some. We have our greed, coruption, crazy fundementalists, crazy liberals, consumerism, barbaric traditions, prejudice, and bigotry, BUT it's not as bad as some places.

Stay posi,
Charles H.

'inside this"

I was never a fan of fair weather bands
they love the scene when it keeps them fed
contracts mark the change, a slew of calls
I just want to tour and play like the rest

If you wanted this, if you needed this
you should have known before
If you wanted this, if you needed this
this life would have never been a chore

there's a roll call at birth for those moving forward
I answered I think, but I'll never really know
If I didn't, I'll chase down this life like a wild dog
but I won't die with regret or the thought of what I left

I was never a fan of alpha male stepdads
they keep you down to keep themselves up
praise a divorce between two grown children at best
I just want to live in peace and feel free to think

media, art, appearence

I argue with myself a lot and both sides always have really good points. This house is divided, but it makes for a pretty cool checking of judgment. K, so I've been talking with Cory and Lou about some of our ad's, etc. and it has put me in a mood where I constantly second guess my first decision on a matter, which could be cool. K, anyway.. so the subject is thus. I feel like we don't need ten trillion promo shots of us splattered all over the net and whatever media our underground culture has because:

A. Our image has nothing to do with this band or who we are as individuals
B. If you see a goofy ass band, even if the promo shot looks awesome, it can turn you off from the band. People will sometimes make an instant decision on something because of it's appearance.

So, my idea is keep most of our ad's ambiguous to a degree where we are branded by the material and not the image. The reason I say this is because a lot of the bands are hyped on the mold of their genre, in an age of endless media we have a set idea of what everything should look like. Kids will consciously and unconsciously reject you if you don't fit into what they consider to be what you should be.

Here's the problem, I don't give a shit what people think about me. I love my band and I think we're okay and I am confident in the material. Now as a intelligent guy I know what a safe investment is and I know you shouldn't throw money into any pit of fire. So we have a problem, we will spend the money on the ad's and they will go to print. So play it smart or play it "I don't give a fuck"?

I don't give a fuck doesn't always work out. also there is a certain amount of my ideals on the ambiguous ad's side, because then the music and material will be judged for what it is, and not what we look like. fuck me.

drop out and go broke tour

Sooo, tour so far. We have played three dates so far on this week tour because last Saturday after packing up to leave to our date in TN we turned our vehicle on to find nothing, we actually didn't turn on the vehicle. We turned the key and heard a click. Well after hours of tinkering and finally figuring out that there was no way this thing was going to run, we called and canceled the show. We hate doing this. So the next day we try to fix it ourselves and found out quickly Michael and I are no mechanics. We had to get a tow truck to take it to seretha's uncle who is a mechanic. The man prestigiously did the work at the cost of the expenses and we got the beast running. Well we drove down the road and we found out the speedometer didn't work. We had to take it back for that, so three hours before we had to leave for the show we didn't cancel we got the 4runner back and we left.

K, so we find the venue in peachtree city, and it's rocking. Lonely as shit and camping deep in the business side of town, this warehouse is empty besides one band and our friends in the disregardables. Jett hooked us up with some pasta and a place to stay that night. We spent the night talking with chex and crew about music, etc. The next day we headed to Augusta.

The traffic on 75 going to 20 east was ridiculous, people are godless beast in high traffic. We finally hit 20 east and everything was smooth sailing from there. We ended up coming a day early because we couldn't fill in a date for Thursday. Cory from our label was super awesome and i think he was everything we expected him to be. We talked music, movies, and business till his dad went to sleep for work and then we hit the sack. The next day we all woke up, took a shower, and hit up the local wally world for some 2 dollar meals. The show at Skate city was pretty cool, though very cold. The first band took two hours to set up and start their set. they were a bunch of high school metalcore kids writing 03 tunes, the second band was pretty good, they sounded very similar to cartel and fob, and then we stepped up to the plate and stuttered through our set at a breakneck speed. That's how we do, when we're nervous... we just play fast and hard, and hope kids get it.

Today we're playing a sector 7g, coming back to cory's for one more night, then taking the seven hour drive back home. So far the name of this tour has been perfect. drop out and go broke. I still think it's a wonderful thing though. Everything feels super good.

hope

For once in my life, I felt proud of my country. We all know what day I'm talking about.. it was November 4th, 2008. I can remember when I still believed in the shit I ranted about. It was a long time ago, before all these pack mules for discipline ate away my heart. I can't really remember when it was lost, maybe it was the time I spent with the underbelly of an inbred faction of the mall punks and the dopey counter culture. All the seedy afternoons spent downing drugs and searching the stars for meaning and truth. After years of pursuit it leaves a heavy hangover. I came out of the haze grasping for a breath of reality. it was a literal mind fuck, and we were promiscuous with our minds because it was killing two birds with one stone: we were disconnecting from society and it was an intellectual excuse to sit on our asses and waste away. After what I'd like to call my sobering period, I looked around and saw a futile youth clawing at the heel of real competence. We had given up our minds to a social machine of intoxication and that's how we were losing. Forget the long arm of the man coming late at night in our bedrooms to give out free reach arounds to any dirty, indifferent bag of shit, we were fucking ourselves with a smile on our face. I am the machine, my friends are the machine, we are the grinding gears of social irrevelance. So I started trying to make things happen with music. It was one of the few things left untainted in my life. I pushed the chords out, birthed some lyrics, and slipped into a new attitude to take on my duty as a human being. I wanted to be in step with social consciousness. Out of the years spent doing so, I learned the footwork for change. it wa s aslow persistance to move forward, over obstacles, over set backs, through opposition and the heirachy of natural selection. I made my postion work for me.


well, I never really thought about any of it coming to a head, atleast to a point where I could sit down and look at the tv screen and be like, wow, there's change. I just witnessed it. I felt it in my heart. We just moved. As a nation, we took one step forward.

it was prolly one of the most beautiful things I've every taken part in, and it changed me from a dead cell of hope, to an ember of fucking militant rage. I will not stand for the things i know are wrong anymore. this is me at full speed and I'm going to fucking break the safety on my mind just so I can work at full speed. I love myself and I love my fellow man. Together we'll make everything we hope for happen.

the heart of the american dream

I just watched another documentary on hunter s. thompson and as always, it was pretty awe inspiring. His words are so fucking strong and honest. He is the single greatest writer at capturing the bastardization of the American dream. He pens the depravity of a capitalist nation full of car salesmen like a fucking one eye'd man in a room full of the blind.


love it,


crh
lft

two song demo

"Joking Sovereignty : an empire of grief"

if there's a lesson to be learned
the lesson's in your head
grief isn't sovereign
it's like a cloud in the distance
the rain feeds life
so why add to standing water
why add, why add
to any real problems you have

you're building an empire of grief
brick by fucking brick
it stands as tall as your arms will let it

i saw some high school friends
at the movies yesterday
they reminded me of who i am
and who i use to be
I'm so glad that
happiness is now familiar
I don't have to die for
the credibility of my art

you're building an empire of grief
brick by fucking brick
it stands as tall as your arms will let it

thank Buddha, Allah, or god, whoever you believe in
for gracing my face with this smile
like it's out of our fucking hands?

"Sebaceous"

from under smells mugging my every mood
this greasy hair won't cut it, i need to cut it
gritty taste at every wake, but i still won't brush
I've got people to avoid and things to forget to do
some of these statements are true but none are related
clean cut, no rust sometimes means the worst of the worst
ugly and functioning, I'm a machine for errands
spend some time with me on the underbelly of everything