so worried

it's insane how tense I've been lately. this thing with the kids parents is stressign me the hell out. I've told them that I'll meet any requirements they have so the kids can tour but they don't have any requirements. They just have all these crazy "what if"'s. I understand it's their children, but you only have one set span to live. These kids have been working semi-hard on making this band work. Musically they all contribute to lft. It's just insane to let your kids excell at something and then not take it all the way. I mean, if tese kids were playing baseball and they got to go to regionals, then nationals.. would their parents have a problem with it? It kills me because I know how much it's going to kill them if their parents don't chill on this.

editorial correction

In an earlier blog I posted that I wasn't naturally an angry person, but in reality I'm a very angry person. I see people dodging ignorance daily, having to curve their every thought when their peer is too dense to do the same for them. I have a intolerance for this senseless habit. What's so wrong with being respectful? Why must we be condesending without right or cause? I stay pissed at all times. Everyone is dying to listen to themselves preach. Well I have a few words for these people and you can bet they will be exercised with all future lft releases.

forward

Can a document of small town social climate be considered a forward motion, or is it just a kick in the can for pop culture? I don't want to consider myself in the same ranks as paris hilton. I guess everyone wants to be on the front of every social movement. It's a scarey thing to evaluate your place in the big picture.

splitting hairs with ex-friends

we can pretend in the house of swine
we remember good times
fuck those drugs we shared on weekends
it only kept us on the fringe
graduation brought an end to courtesy
if only I could ever make you believe
there's good in men's heart
there's good in you and me

cultural poise

I feel like I'm being attacked by the tv. Just complete overload when it comes to pop culture, too much reality, too much make up, too much editing, too much gentlmen juice coming at my eyes and ears.a dump truck of media parking on my chest. Fooooooking nasty and debilitating.

PREEEEtentious

sometimes striving for better work can just come off as a selfish struggle. I mean I write music for a combination of reasons: for the kids who need decent bands to relate to; To keep what i consider decent music alive and breathing; to extract all my passive aggressive behavior into a constructive form; and generally not to feel so insignificant. So it's half selfish and half artistic.

wellllllll, then I started to think about it, most artists are into art for selfish reasons. they might not display it daily but really, why else would you sit around trying to think of a way to creatively say you're like everyone else and you want to share that with the world. Just the fact that someone would think they are blessed enough to be able to entertain a crowd with their thoughts and feelings is pretty conceded. the more and more I think about it, the more I agree with the pissy Charles inside.

BUUUTTTT, then you have moments where you play a show and everyone there is having a great time, yelling their heads off, and then you know why.. we're literally creating a piece of heaven on earth. This sense of community and warmth between everyone. We're all sweating, screaming, and having fun. No one feels out of place. You just feel like you belong, you're accepted, someone understands you, and that makes going back to a hostile home worth it. You know it doesn't matter if you're a fatty, smell weird, act strange, or generally can't get along with the general human population, cause when you're here.. you know the bands, they're your friends, you know what they're about cause you know their lyrics, and they don't have to technically relate to you as an individual.. they have your music and your band to know, be friends with, to listen to...


maybe I'm an idiot, but that's the way I feel