Bloom Till It Hurts: inside the mind of Charles

to be 23

2010-05-25T09:52:00.000-07:00

unhappy
unsettled
I pay rent but I've got no place to stay
unfulfilled
unsung
the louder I get, the less I am heard
chords and notes, the percussion of my teeth
it seems like there isn't a happy ending
I spend money when I eat, the money is made from trees
but I can't find two dimes to rub together
to be 23 feels like a dead end street
oh to be 23
chords and notes, the percussion of my teeth
it seems like there isn't a happy ending
I spend money when I eat, the money is made from trees
but I can't find two dimes to rub together
to be 23 feels like a dead end street
oh to be 23

fencemaker by trade

2010-05-25T09:28:00.001-07:00

you're a step ahead
parents with a good credit store
no room mates in rehab
just one job with flexible hours
the tiger in the snow still eats it's prey
roberto benigni, you've tricked me
you're years ahead
girls love the cynical air
the neo-folk movement is booming
tailor made and a complete natural
the tiger in the snow still eats its prey
roberto benigni, you've tricked me
one of god's rare beasts
a fence maker with a good ear
I'm out, you're in
I'm out, you're in
I'm out, I'm out
I'm out, I'm out
fuck it I don't want to be in

feeling your gut

2010-05-23T13:03:00.000-07:00

stop crying
it'll only add to the water filling your lungs
filling your guns
feeling your gut
the anchors in your head can only hurt
trust me
there's nothing to trust in the lonely sea you've created
so why perpetuate
why so much hate
even when influence isn't around

soaked paper shoes

2010-05-23T02:33:00.000-07:00

soak paper shoes just give me the news
am I at the bottom, how much further could I go?
I spoke to satan, did a few lines of coke
played out my destructive side to incite the words I wrote
even soaked paper shoes are just ash in this heat
god didn't blame me for trying to switch teams
chemicals chains bound by good intentions,
dark flags on darker nights, you can't tame me, who can blame me
the letters read pga will blanket the past
between the lines on the paper, I lived in my caste
tore a hole in my shadow, thought I borrowed from my dad
but who can champion ink on the hand that says 13 and a half
chemicals chains bound by good intentions,
dark flags on darker nights, you can't tame me, who can blame me

man and livestock

2010-05-21T13:06:00.000-07:00

the sun ties all things breathing, neat knots for man and livestock
a present to be unwrapped daily, not pushed back to bi-weekly
I forget my hands at the end of my arms
so forgive me for forgetting to smile
when I think about thinking my stomach churns
cause I feed on negativity
my feet won't plant in the ground, they're in bed when I'm at work
so I trudge off to my job, not knowing which way I'll fall today

I hate pink floyd even when I'm not sober

2010-05-20T12:31:00.001-07:00

Heaven doesn't think of you, God doesn't think of me
we're fighting for scraps, they're taking naps, not losing any fucking sleep
I'd pay for a trip to hell before I'd beg for a spot in heaven
respect is due on the act of civility, I don't feel a drop on me
it ain't magic, where your prayer goes
eyes and ears up, the evil in the sky knows
I wasn't born a preacher, but I was born a believer
every good action has counter action and it isn't constant bullshit
better to swallow the sin than let them lure you in
security can be bought but is it what you want
a lot of people talk, very few can even walk
so I'd rather crawl and whisper than be screaming on my back
it ain't magic, where your prayer goes
eyes and ears up, the evil on the sky knows
where is my future going?
down? down? down? down?

Youth Crew Blues

2010-03-30T18:04:00.000-07:00

if it ever gets recorded, this album will be everything lft is and wants to be. I promise if we can ever get up the money to hit the studio for our next record it will be fast, poignant, and deliberate. The lyrics will cover the black sheep syndrome, tolerance of intolerance, sleepwalking 9-5, and everything else that has been crippling our happiness for the past two years. The music will speak and the lyrics will create images. We will be playing harder, faster, and more emotional throughout the record. you will all die when you hear it. so get your funeral arrangements ready.

Charles H.
LFT

Hello Internet

2010-03-25T20:04:00.000-07:00

Hi internet,

no one reads this blog, maybe a few but I can't really expect this to be read. This is an official restart of the lft machine. We're going to be hitting the mid-west and east coast this summer, trying to spread of the gospel of positivity. I'm stoked to play new cities and meet new people. Here we come.

Also, if you want us to play your city, book us a show there.

Charles H.
LFT

the end is the end

2009-10-06T01:36:00.000-07:00

the head has been rattling with lots of ideas lately. Wrote the entire album in my month of almost solitude. sucks lft's last shows are coming up, but I have to keep on moving forward. can't stop making music cause other's have friends and enjoy being home from the road.

fortitude dude

2009-07-19T01:19:00.000-07:00

I'd rather bore a hole in my head and watch my brains soak my shoulder with fluid then have to deal with another dumb girl who doesn't even know her right from her left.

Everytime I bend and take the hell, only to find it fruitless, brown and dry just as I expected it would be. Kudos to all aimless girls sucking the lifeforce out of an individual, why don't you go to cosmotology school.

the real youth crew blues

2009-06-24T15:30:00.000-07:00

spade the kids too heavy to dream

never sleep, barely speak, "something good" rarely happens

bore your friends, bore yourself

ostracize entire lives to deaden all their wonders

this reservoir is violence

it was never what I joined

the brutes downed their hearts

to punish their own patrons

youth crew blues, I'm singing to you

we all have a chance to chose

youth crew blues

2009-06-02T01:48:00.000-07:00

crickets sing our names all day, "we're clean till the week breaks"
rendezvous before the house show at seven, you have a friend for me to meet
humility's his god given name, he answers to common sense
life isn't as bad as you want it to be, actuality is far from what you think

sullen and pissed at the burns from home
you'll buckle under your happiness
nothing feel betters than blaming everyone
that's why I nod to the beat and look straight ahead

a sojourn to this county brews the blues, once in, you're dense with pestilence
favor a night that lasts forever, waking up here is cruel to the spirit
they bury youth like plants to be harvested
an article to be read in leisure
so we poisen ourselves and stumble through, no one will notice till a bill's due

you'll buckle under your happiness
like I'll die from a lie I told when I was six

the barristas working for my blackened soul

2009-05-31T03:00:00.000-07:00

abase my lapse of insight

I'm gagging on what's t0 come

to be afraid of what hasn't came

is as distant as I'd enjoy to go

you read about this persuation

obscurity, an opinion they allow

a door to distress, a space to suffocate

happy children grow into bitter adults

don't listen, don't listen

we're here to destroy your ambition

don't listen, don't fucking listen

adults talk you up to run you down

morose men and hateful women

are here for digression, spoil like the crowd

ripened wit is like toasted urin

spray for animal stings in open waters

nature yells maim cheer and comfort

it's what the collective never had

you accept what we feel

a mob of them over a single kid

all the bitter souls in the house

won't rival one of us

mess with the tiger and you'll get the horns

2009-05-24T14:10:00.000-07:00

be proud of your shitty friends
shady lifestyles lead to an understanding
that no matter how low you go
the trailer lot will break your fall
Hate art like I hate art
ink speakers with "when I write you, I feel small."
loved ones, left ones, I don't know how you feel
answers leave me notes at my door
threw up in your front yard last night
sorry but it felt right at the time
gorgeous bottle be mine till I move on
like everyone I've ever used
Hate art like I hate art
ink speakers with "when I write you, I feel small."
loved ones, left ones, I don't know how you feel
answers leave me notes at my door
Stay misread and dismissed, bleed grey in a nation of flakes and flips.
Borderline, every line, I feel like this, lie myself to a false content.

my kind of summer

2009-05-14T04:02:00.000-07:00

recreational summer get eaten by the breeze

sleep collects dust in the closet with boxes of winter

watch the sun blaze through the blinds

at six am, I'll consider to crawl beneath the day

one week in front of adaptors and screens

two console eyes and two blistered thumbs

midday wake up call

I start again, another summer

a slave to nothing memorable

bottle rocket scars litter my enemies with fear

the neighborhood belongs to my brothers and me

the moon stops the best game I've ever had

at one am, I'll consider to crash on the couch

one week in front of adaptors and screens

two console eyes and two blistered thumbs

midday wake up call

I start again, another summer

a slave to nothing memorable

a waste this summer

next summer I'll get things done

lazy and bored for summer

next summer I'll do better

natural tailor of natural joy

2009-05-14T01:34:00.000-07:00

warm up the trunk space of my own scene,

the kids at home all rub me wrong,

drink till you drown, smoke, ash off consumption,

yeah I did both but I grew up

once fireworks went off in my chest

didn't ingest a bomb to enjoy the show

I've had a few before, drinks and problems to match
I'm older, done and over that wreck

I'm a natural tailor of natural joy
woah oh oh

crooks move on, kids move faster

you got what you wanted, be cool, just be you

party hard as you swerve through traffic

shows are littered with minors who'd love to have it

as my contacts list shrinks, I exhale

I sleep well when your passed out at home

once fireworks went off in my chest

I didn't ingest a bomb to see the show

I've had a few before, drinks and problems to match
I'm older, done and over that wreck

I'm a natural tailor of natural joy
woah oh oh oh

crooks move on, kids move faster

you got want you wanted, be cool, just be you

your choice, your life,

I'm just a speed bump to a good time

giant's dispair

2009-05-09T02:45:00.000-07:00

Giant's dispair is what the ambulance driver called the mile or so decline where we wrecked. Pretty flippin' ominous if you ask me. I never saw any sign that said, "devil's elbow/giant's dispair quarter mile ahead, make sure to make all ambulance and wrecker arrangements before descent."

We were following the gps and it was taking us on a short cut to save time. The police officer doing the accident report asked us why we had gotten off the highway because cafe metro was next to the highway we exited. The gps didn't know we were hauling a trailer full of equipment. There was talk of our brakes not being installed properly but I'm sure it was just the steep ingrade that wore the breaks down to nothing. I started pumping my brakes when the roads steepened. Each time I pumped, I had to press further to get a response out of the breaks. Obviously this went on till there was no response and the brakes was touching the floorboad.

I don't think I've ever been so scared in my fucking life. The moment the brakes went out, I just stared down the road and the sharp turn up ahead and tried to think what the fuck can I do here. I could have tried to steer into the tree's or the rockface but I'm pretty sure that would have produced a funeral bill someone would have to pay. So I tried to make the turn. The trailer swung out to our side and that's about all I remember. After the 4runner and trailer flipped once or twice we ended up in a ditch with the trailer on it's side and the 4runner right side up. When we stopped we all looked at each other yelling to see if each other were okay.

Pretty fucking happy no one died in the accident. I can't think of many things more intense than that thirty seconds of my life. I'll write up something for what happened after that, I just wanted to get the accident down while it was fresh on my mind.

Charles H.
LFT

88 says there's a cure for the uncommon

2009-05-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

we finally made it, the obtuse believe
openly I admit, you're not what we use to be
keep our portion of the sun, the broken reef among the surf,
the rich soil and good weather never existed

ask me do I care? would I ever care?

wave my milestone, burn last year
we knew better, now we'll do better
slave hand over fist, over a loosened grip
you'll find nothing exactly where nothing is

four years ago I wouldn't have seen this
a smile on my face as we die in Pennsylvania
traitors to our previous work, our voice is not lost
we're just ahead of the storm that's brewing

ask me do I care? would I ever care?

a cure for the common band is itself
you know you're own hands well

half the ship stays underwater
we'll be that part that doesn't need to breathe
you can flaunt the flag while we carry the ship
that's alright by me

day 7, ballin'

2009-05-01T21:00:00.000-07:00

I'll try to be as short as possible. After sleeping in the four-runner at the local Walmart in Charleston, SC, we woke up the next morning and tried several tire joints before finding one that had our trailer tires. 255 dollars, yay! We then drove to Fayetteville, NC, and played a show to small unenthusiastic crowd. We never do well in bars. It's either a situation where the crowd is too mature and forward thinking to get our straight forward approach to punk or people are top 40 types. The next night was the same noise in a different town and finally the Luna bean, another empty venue playing to the bands we tour with. Fun times. There was some cool parts about these shows like breaking into a skate park and filming the guys do some street skate shiz. That night we drove to Virginia beach to stay with Corey's aunt and see Christian"s older brother. We arrived in Virginia beach early that morning and crashed hard. Right now, I'm sitting in a hotel in East Orange, N.J. We went to NYC today and it was amazing. I saw an assortment of homeless people, bright neon signs, and comic books. A comedian who was supposedly opening for Dave Chappell and Charlie Murphy was hounding us into buying tickets outside of the toys r us in Times Square. He was an extremely rude and poor salesman.

Tomorrow is bamboozle. I can't wait to see the get up kids.

eff the world,
Charles H.
LFT

day three of passion brand/wisteria tour

2009-04-26T23:20:00.000-07:00

It's 2:21 am in North Charleston, SC. The boys and I are currently parked in a walmart super center trying to get a night's rest in our spacious four-runner. We've spent the past three days tip toe'ing from augusta, ga to spartanburg, sc to charleston, sc. I use the term "tip toe'ing" because our trailer tires are bald and worn badly, the underwiring( not sure if that's the term) is exposed. Every city we go to doesn't have that specific trailer tire, FML. So here we are, sleeping in a walmart parking lot. Just waiting for it to open so we can be told they don't have the tire, then we'll spend the morning driving around trying to find it at various tire dealers, successfully wasting another morning.

Fun stories of the tour so far: first day christian bought a 200 dollar bass with his eating money(29 dates left!); zack broke his nose at our show with set your goals, he had to have surgery the day before we left, so he's not going to be here the first four or five days; and all the bands on the tour had a croosh dance sesh tonight when soundguy played metro station over the pa. Three days in and we're breaking shit, hungry, and dancing hard as fook. Word to your mother.

Side notes: literally notes:

Clean toilets are amazing.
Hungry never felt so good.
Being in a touring band is a crazy adventure.

Charles H.
LFT

2525

2009-04-20T01:15:00.000-07:00

Totaled
Wrecked passengerless on an airfield

Sam we finally wrote an ode to you, just like sandra wanted

Was the explosions a metaphor for social issues, or was cast and crew emotionally bankrupt.

We'll never know cause they don't want us to know, and that's okay by me. It's harder to disapoint.

bottle rocket scars

2009-04-13T02:27:00.000-07:00

ghost man scores
Did it count? change the rules
For the sake of summer, for once,
change to prove a point

bottle rocket war
How does anyone win?
Walk it off, nothing scars
And the losers celebrate with hospital visites

Endless summer, move slowly, meet you when I'm older

2009-04-12T03:31:00.000-07:00

discord swelled and surfaced
So I removed my eyelids,
slept near the entrances and defended against the sunrise.
One of nine sifted through
a good attempt at repression.
Damn the media for pop culture psych jargon.
Flock hear this, your speakers are stuffed.
They're here now, change your family and your christianity.
I dove, stayed dry, and
stained the pool with thoughts.
Rattled limbs for a nest, found catepillars that sting.
I swore at clouds forming assorted shapes
to blame is to believe I think.

a contract for heart worms

2009-04-05T05:04:00.000-07:00

great American crook, I scribbled out lines penned about you
instead wrote a contract for heart worms so you leave entombed
the payout will turn to vapor, music should be free
then we'll see who's diving for quarters on unwaged dreams

they screamed "kaiser weather!" years before the kaiser met hell fire
a dark crown singed to his head, bless his blue eyes and heritage
sodomy like poetry could sync with the virtuous
but virtue is a fashion, believe king rat like the rest of us

stay the course
branch to branch
stay the course
work to the bank
stay the course
hand to mouth
stay the course
we all get fed

fuct

2009-04-05T03:11:00.000-07:00

flicker humanity
cast us down, a swallow of hell
life on the upside is slowly turning
but we smile on

intellectual estate forclosed

2009-04-04T04:09:00.000-07:00

Nowhere is unfolding so fast
Cave in is the appropriate term
If no one ever read the new lyrics
I'd be years away from the nearest critic

Enclosed, a serious note. I hate love but I love you.

Obvious is away when truth settles in
Chilled and collected is an accurate set
If only you understood, it'd make sense
We could talk about it while everyone blames me

Enclosed, a serious note. I hate love but I love you.

So abandon your detachments
Weild a new attitude for us
I'll trim the fat, pride and all
Together forever, or never ever

dented but on sale

2009-04-03T01:36:00.000-07:00

Play her, a harpsicord tuned to toneless times, stroked from midnight to the late a.m.'s/
A so-so journey, the hub of insecurity, dried by level-headed gents/
Soft dents but cleaned right, next sunday's sale/
Drunken and lonely, easy for the kill/
Who knew I grew as you were buried in beds/
Collar shirts and bro crews taste weak and suspect/

No sleep loss/
inch more of rust/
Been here too long/
I ask victum to whom?/

corked but completely stale, destined for the drain/
sauced and sunken, you'll never close again/
who knew i grew as your womb stretched/
trucks and booming bass sound longer than they appear/

No sleep loss/
inch more of rust/
Been here too long/
I ask victum to whom?/

we're all bastards

2009-04-03T01:12:00.000-07:00

broke in the industry/
bent and burned by it's machine/
so I ask, silence or sirens?/

colorless and shrinkwrapped/
Misplaced to confuse/
life faded to the backseat/
a new dispassion, one more excuse/

Bought by nods/
by request, felt so crossed/
So I ask, sterile or stoic?/

Cage me, I'll end this/

stay warm and human/

before the floor is covered in what makes you real/

23 years of blue notes

2009-04-02T03:27:00.000-07:00

borrowing emotions, lend the rights to vacant rooms
lost as the best, blue notes to thank
singing your hymns
there's a dollar to be made but no smell to wash off
kids never knew your name

a chorus when you're long gone
praise for those who never wanted a word

stealing discord, thieves in the speaker
a fist for a pick to capture the holy
birthed from southern air
god gave me a voice to mimic your genius
kids will never know your name

so where do we go
with all this tension
where do i go
with pure caustic idealism
where do we go
the woodshed with us
to reinvent the blue notes

cool stuff

2009-03-23T07:37:00.000-07:00

we got back rough copies of our seven inch material. I'm pretty stoked on it. It was definately rough but I definately think chris did a good job for tracking in a trailer. It sounds like a good demo, which is what we were going for.

Charles H.
LFT

Nothing Uncommon - the anatomy of a modern punk band

2009-03-19T02:11:00.000-07:00

an intro to nothing uncommon

American stomachs ache with the rapture of a promise, a promise to conquer the world on an arrogant whim. I'm just another American waiting my turn. I'm staying calm, not squirming in my seat, just being a well behaved citizen. The dreams that have created our national identity since the organization of of public schools, clandestine speeches, and all that shit we're afraid to not believe are resting in the tree tops: plucked, they legitimize years spent on a guitar and random notepads in several families' homes all over Jackson County, Alabama; wasted, they legitimize a society's critiques on a wayward mind. I'm fucked from toe to top; chords, clangs, and beats are the only sounds I can stand to hear longer than a week; my writing is atrocious to a English major or any gifted junior high student and pretentious to the rest; and I'm long gone with my ideals. Oh if only life was a simple as a run on sentence. If only I could live how I want and say what I want and keep on adding my thoughts from second to second, all motivated by these chemicals excreted from glands and making their way to different areas in my brain, creating moods and this horrid fucking frame of insolence. I bore you because I bore me. AND this is the intro to nothing uncommon, someone wanting to do something they can't. With me, it just so happens to be writing and playing in a punk band. I have no preconceptions of the word punk. I knew what I heard on speakers and read on the net. It's something I've inherited, kind of like modern medicine or artistic surrealism. I'm a bastard weighing in on an idea bigger than my generation. I accept the hate along with the beautiful endowment of something I never could have started, or for a lighter matter, understood at it's birth.

LFT News

2009-03-17T00:38:00.000-07:00

I guess official LFT news time, I'm not sure when we'll be putting up a song from the split seven inch but it will be soon. Also, I'm hoping we can get a website to stream it. We're good friends with the guys in Veara and they have always been cool to us. They are one of the few friends bands, besides In Irons, that haven't been afraid to do dates with us because of the difference in genres. But yeah, We're doing a split with them and it's going to be ballin. We'll have the vinyl artwork up soon in a few different spots. Is it weird to be more stoked about people seeing the artwork than the material? Couple of notes on the material, we tracked with our good friend from Say Vandelay, Chris, and it sounded pretty awesome in the sound laboratory. He's opening up a studio about mid-summer so soon as I get more info on that I will be pushing everyone really hard to track with him. He's an awesome guy. The material for the seven inch is more reflective on our Dan Yemin influences so hopefully it won't be that far of a fetch away from what everyone dug about our album Eleven Eleven.

Much Love,
Charles H.
LFT

So I half ass'd it, hopefully that won't be my legacy

2009-03-17T00:10:00.000-07:00

So I'm 22. Michael and I play in a band with kids, two 16 year old's and one 17 year old.

It feels strange that the maturity I could not find in my peers after graduation I found in some kids. Maybe it's not maturity, this is going to sound pretty lame but I was watching mr. magorium's wonder emporium this morning and it struck a strange chord with me. I remember when i was young and life seemed limitless. Nothing was defined and the world was waiting to be tread beneath my heel. I was going to do lots of great things and become a great person. Somewhere along the way I lost that vast foresight and fell into everyday life. School was monotomy. This dumb wake up, sit up, listen, take test, go to bed pattern I had to repeat for thirteen years. The social side of school was disheartening too. Kids can be cruel and mean. So I guess I lost that "neverending story" mentatility. I became broken like a horse or the cattle being fattened in the fields. Most of my friends turned to drugs and alcohol cause they felt that was the only way to realize the wonder the world had to offer. I think it was life that broke them, when we were kids did we need drugs to be amazed by things? Or was the world amazing to new fresh eyes that understood the genuis of it all. I mean, we breathe, we love, we walk and talk, we think, we write, we are shitloads of potential encased in flesh. Why is the world not good enough to us? I'm not talking about god or religion, just saying. it's fucking sweet to be human. Even with time not being on our sides, we get a chunk of change to play with. By saying all this, I'm nto saying I'm better than anyone. I'm a fuck-up, I half ass everything, I neglect those who care about me, I'm naturally rude, and sometimes it's a struggle for me to be empathetic towards others(not towards kids starving in other countries, child labor laws being raped, the homeless, or other generally fucked up situations around the world) I try not to be those things. I really do. I spend a lot of my day reflecting on personal decisions made and art made, which includes for lft. I want to be bigger than me, I want lft to be something bigger than my flaws and human error. I want it to be art, something out of context to the human desease. But it's dumb, art is the human desease. It's every blemish and freckle, every foul smell and heinous choice. Damn me, I'm everywhere but still somehow not where I want to be.

seven inch songs, work in progress

2009-03-10T11:08:00.000-07:00

"glory, glory, Joseph Maxwell"

Good times hit black ice
you stepped in and dried the lake
we slide twelve hours from home
for once the clouds kept the rain

you saved us from an empty gas tank(die ohio),
you kept us positive(die ohio),
we drove all night(die ohio),
we're blessed by open ears(die ohio)

viral leakage

2009-03-03T11:18:00.000-08:00

so our album came out this past week and I'm stoked on everything thus far. The album leaked pretty hard about two weeks before it came out so a lot of people had it before hand but no worries. We're not rock stars, we're just some dudes who want everyone to hear our music. Most kids have liked it, and I'm really glad that our hometown friends liked it. It means the world to us that our local friends are actually going out to shows and supporting everything.

I feel kind of weird with kids I've never seen before coming up to me asking for autographs, not to degrade their gesture but it's really silly. We suck compared to other bands and there's no sense in anyone treating us like that. There's ten trillion bands that people should go apehsit over. We're not one of those bands, BUT the wonder years are one of those bands. I heard an elegy for baby blue today off their new split and it's amazing. That man's lyrical skills are intense and fun. i absolutely love it.

eff my life,
Charles H.
LFT

somewhere between arrogant and desolate

2009-02-26T01:17:00.000-08:00

carousel twisting the tunes around
pass the melody keeping the weather in check
I met the words kids admired so much
and I hide them in the other writers' "best"
so I wear posture like a question mark
keep past and future in separate tanks
I mingle when the world's crashing
happy to breathe and be the first to say

I'm so tall my head touches everything
grow for me, grow for me
so tired of thinking for everyone
think for me, think for me
If I'm the only one who gets it
I never want to be stuck with it
I'd be happy not knowing anything
ever again

patron drinking off the world's mistakes
save your wisdom for bathroom stalls
you piss on your years but they won't melt
order another drink till someone calls
so I wear posture like a question mark
keep past and future in separate tanks
I mingle when the world's crashing
happy to breathe and be the first to say

I'm so tall my head touches everything
grow for me, grow for me
so tired of thinking for everyone
think for me, think for me
If I'm the only one who gets it
I never want to be stuck with it
I'd be happy not knowing anything
ever again

at the cost of my youth i found out everything

"a massive intent"

2009-02-26T00:54:00.000-08:00

cattle among dead legged men
stay in step and the cattle get fed
helpless like bukowski wrestling with sin
though the stars piss blood, we look ahead
reaming off losses and glowing still
we shake the angles from the tree
a callous grip, bare on my mind
I'm going to do this for you and me

a massive intent is somewhere
I found it in my teens
when wet pavement met cheap rubber
I lost it in the streets

a pawn of tread, stuck in the tracks
carousel lifestyle, circling the facts
If I knew anyone who knew who set this trap
I'd be burying blades, wiping off fingerprints
reaming off losses and glowing still
we shake the angles from the tree
a callous grip, bare on my mind
I'm going to do this for you and me

a massive intent is somewhere
I found it in my teens
when wet pavement met cheap rubber
I lost it in the streets

cork this old bottle, I'm flat and bitter
pour me out the window as you drive on to better things

"there used to be a marching band in your legs, now there's broken drum sticks in your feet"

2009-02-07T05:00:00.000-08:00

I compared myself to guilded lillies, reflections in a urinal/
lately I sympathize and pen fast verses for their lives/
in school you looked regal with your nose north of common/
in four years, we became the same/

There used to be a marching band in your legs, now there's broken drum sticks in your feet.

Two birds, one worm, where did we divide/
I'm a witness to the line/
like a stain on the shore where the level was/
I'm marked by the cast of sewage/

I blame me/
for my short sight/
we could've changed/
but it's easier to stare/

Seven inch songs

2009-02-07T02:04:00.000-08:00

"Booking Hell"

"Joseph Maxwell Saved My Band"

"There used to be a marching band in your legs, now there's broken drumsticks in your feet"

"All my friends are creeps and liars(except you)"

Two of these songs are going on the split seven inch, two will be digital extras. I don't know which will be on the vinyl, we're going to wait to chose after we record.

Charles H.
LFT

living with snake handlers

2009-02-07T01:55:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I'm afraid that the years we've spent living in an area overpopulated with a zealous religious population has corrupted us. I just feel dumb sometimes. Does slow lives breed ignorance?

"joseph" seven inch song.

2009-02-07T00:21:00.000-08:00

We're writing this note for you and all your friends.
I never impressed mine outside of poisen consumption.
So now we have you, people who like who we are.
You have us too, we're your new instrument.

you saved us from an empty gas tank(die ohio), you kept us positive(die ohio), we drove all night(die ohio), we're blessed by open ears(die ohio)

fun times in the midwest pt. 1

2009-01-31T11:21:00.000-08:00

So we started out on a tour not knowing if it was going to be three days or four days. We finally heard back from our friend that he was setting up a basment show for sure in Kansas city so it turned into four days. When we got to KC, I Call Fives asked us if we wanted to finish out there dates because team goldie had dropped off. We said yes because we're hungry to play new spots and so we went. Our three day run had turned into a nine day tour. So we hit up des moines, iowa on the first date. I think we were downtown, not completely sure, but the traffic was heavy and so was the ice and snow on the roads. It was crazy driving there because everything slowly turned whiten including the sky. I really like cold weather but this shit is rediculous. More updates soon.

fun knee guy

2009-01-21T23:53:00.000-08:00

I wear crappy clothes, I never get to go to shows, all my time and money is put into LFT while the other members have fun and wait for me to do everything. I just hate being the workhorse, but some how still being the bad guy? lets use a metaphor,

lets say someone's living with a guy for free, the guy says, "hey man, you can eat what you want and drink what you want, stay as long as you like, but I have to be in bed by ten cause i have to work to pay for your food, drink, and apartment." well, a few months go by and then the guest starts staying up at all hours of the night, starts putting in furniture he wants, spends money on shit he wants but doesn't help pay for anything, and on top of those things, bitches to the guy paying for things and taking care of things because he's not considerate of his opinions and disrespect. what do you think should happen in this situation? anyone?

all my friends are liars and creeps(except for you)

2009-01-18T13:24:00.000-08:00

I'll plagiarize you
cause you've written what works
I'll put a leash on your tongue
so I can feel important when I speak
We can pretend to laugh till we get what we need
We can push off a smile till our nausea peaks

I'll kill everyone you know
so our town can forget you
I'll pencil you in the linear notes
gravestones wasted in our fans bedrooms
We can pretend to laugh till we get what we need
We can push off a smile till our nausea peaks

I will never write anything as well as you've written me
it's weird growing up knowing there's nowhere you won't go

cruel moon beams keeping my back cool
tell me when my peers whisper deceit

nose in the corner(baptist rule)

2009-01-18T13:02:00.000-08:00

living by the slow baptist rule
I'm a dreamer sleeping at the bottom of your pool
livestock vision wasted on laid sod
I graze on what's given, not what's promised
who's humble enough to not know
what giant can peer through concrete graves
I hear the truth, I hear the wind whistle
I see what my mind believes
fear move me to a safe place
a place I can smile alone
A gentle room padded with innocence
not these open bare fields
a seizure to some, grace for you
I'm convulsing in the floor to impress, to move
searching quietly with my nose in the corner
I regret whatever can keep me gold
who's humble enough to not know
what giant can peer through concrete graves
I hear the truth, I hear the wind whistle
I see what my mind believes

early memory of music

2009-01-18T04:07:00.000-08:00

I was thinking on the drive back from the kingston springs show tonight about my earliest memory of music. I guess maybe the drive brought this to mind, but I thought about my grandmother humming melodies while I slept in the backseat of pop's car. They'd come pick me up almost every friday to stay the weekend. I wish I could still sleep in the backseat of anyone's vehicle while they're driving. These days I'm running on fumes. My patience is thin, my stress level is high, I'm completely miserable, but I couldn't be happier.

Charles H.
LFT

open in A, close at 7

2009-01-11T22:28:00.000-08:00

The road delivers no bed, it delivers bags to pack the stress/
Like a still frame shot of our worst day we drove six hours to with a smile on our face/
the road delivers discord, it delivers a pile of rocks where your heart use to be/
Like a veterans hospital nurse it can lead your eyes to the worst/

chinese colon cleanser

2009-01-06T11:25:00.000-08:00

Really shady chinese buffets. Goooooooodddddd loooooorrrrrdddd.

i remember

2009-01-06T02:09:00.000-08:00

Those dark cold nights when I thought I was insane and it excited me for some reason. When life looms like a brown recluse waiting for the soft spot on your neck, that's when things start to go askew. I forgot what crazy feels like. It can empower you. Maybe it actually blinds you from reality, but either way, it's effective. Fear me, I'm a man driving from the trunk of his car.

good ole gospel ship

2009-01-05T23:30:00.001-08:00

there's fire on my lips like the fire on the good ole gospel ship
and bellowing rural ghosts in the chests of inquisitive men
who made us wide eye'd, who left us to kill till our hands ached
I never claimed to have a clue, only doubt and youthful claims
as the river tugged on our hearts, we swam dead arm'd and all
till the years caught the lies by it's short stub tail
I wouldn't dream of giving up, I need to throw down the extra weight
I can't step off into every gloried puddle with a current
it's the good ole gospel ship
they kept me swimming after
It burns deeper than before
they kept me churning
replace your snakey fingers with a steady summer chill
cause the wind won't carry you along the desert hills
who made subtle smiles, the contorted faces we hide behind
I'm ready to trade in this head for carpet marked with fresh stains
though I tremble with the trigger, i hear a sermon in the alley
they scared me enough with hell fire to keep me from myself
with the millions of metaphors for god's good grace we seek
I think we take some time off to prove there's some future relief
it's the good ole gospel ship
they kept me swimming after
It burns deeper than before
they kept me churning

updatish

2009-01-03T19:30:00.000-08:00

So I'm sitting in what is,not sure, appears to be cave nine's new spot. I heard someone say that it might be considered greencup books, because that in fact is where the venue is located above. I'm horrible with grammer. Damn me. Anyway, we played a decent show tonight. I'm contributing it to the short set, five songs. That is a new one to lft. Since we've started this thing we've played one hour to hour and a half set, so a fifteen minute set is easy breezy for us. I'm stoked on playing whatever we can in the upcoming months. I dig the b'ham kids. Funny how I write a song about how hard it is for us to book there and then two weeks later we're playing here.

Fuck my luck,
CRH

conservative comedy propaganda

2008-12-26T07:56:00.000-08:00

Soooo I had a first last night around three am, I watched a movie with a conservative agenda and enjoyed it. Anyone who has watched american carol knows what I'm talking about. I hate bill o'reily with a passion but he was okay in this film. Kids go watch this movie it's funny as hell. Screw the conservatives, but watch this movie. Kudos to those facists for making something funny.

CRH
LFT

to all the pagans and nonbelievers

2008-12-25T02:43:00.000-08:00

Maybe you're right, but please forgive the christians for being so boastful about their god. I'm not saying I don't believe in jewsus and that whole shibang. I just write from an objectional point of view. I just think about it sometimes late at night, what if instead of one person being right and the rest being wrong, what if we're all right? What would be so bad about that? why can't anyone ever propose that?

I want to be positive and optimistic. I know I can do it, but it's a bum out that everyone else is intent on being shitheads.

Charles H.
LFT

earwork

2008-12-24T16:31:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to check out as many bands as possible on my "list"(the list is compromised of bands i have overlooked, never quite had a chance to check out, or bands I've heard about but put it off. )So the past week or so has been a crazy storm of earwork ranging from the pleasing and the not so pleasing. new discoveries include the discography of jawbreaker, rites of spring, and godspeed you! black emperor. I also am thinking about getting debtor's stuff. It makes me feel pretty dumb to find this music i previously overlooked. It's like looking at toulouse-lautrec's paintings for the first time. it's almost too flawed to enjoy and then it slowly works at you till you understand the flaws are not flaws but wrinkles, smile lines, freckles, etc. On a real note, it excites me to hear good music and I've been kind of dancing around it lately, life is doing me a solid. thank god for good music, and i guess thank satan for letting bands like mest, katy perry, and angels and airwaves for making my favorite bands seem like jesus walking across the proverbal sea of heartless tunage.

favorite cd's of 2008

2008-12-21T20:08:00.000-08:00

Polar bear club - sometimes things disapear
Paint it black - new lexicon
New found glory - tip of the iceberg ep
Blacklisted - heavier than heaven, lonelier than god
H20 - nothing to prove
Conor oberst - conor oberst
Cursed - 3
Have heart - songs to scream at the sun
New verse
Hostage caln - lens

yesterday, there were marching bands in my legs, now, there's broken drum sticks in my feet

2008-12-20T12:38:00.000-08:00

novel vision fades with real life attitude
like the letters on my old street's graffiti
Now I wave at the travelers passing by
but I remember a boy dreaming of being wild
there used to be a marching band in my legs
cheering me on as I take each step
now there's broken drum sticks strewn in my feet
I hear god's stride like a wooden floor's weighted creak
give me answers, give me clues
give me anything, what am I to you
I'm a horse to break, a hen to produce
I'm a fly in the coffee, struggling to die
summer was cruel for a wayward kid
a lonely sanctum for two to three months
but as soon as it arrived it was handing out goodbyes
we were left to figure ourselves out in plain sight
Christmas had less martyr than an average holiday
but they treated it kindly, said their prayers
we consumed like we were told, flew the seasonal colors
but were left as lonely as before

sebacious(the real song)

2008-12-16T12:14:00.000-08:00

I'm physically busting at the seams
from the 22 years of eating
they shovel in the grief
and I swallow and gorge politely
I'm physically making myself sick
pale skin as torn and green as my eyes
I want to push the plate away
but I keep waiting for seconds
Give me strength whoever is in control
Am I waiting for no one? Am I just weak?
I'm emotionally vacant forever
suspended and detached from life
I can only dream of ordinary
and speculate what you feel like
I'm emotionally stale like sun fried grass
a canopy for the living
if I had a chance to breathe
I wouldn't know what to do with it
Give me strength whoever is in control
Am I waiting for no one? Am I just weak?
Defamation at my chubby finger tips

Dine In Tax

2008-12-13T20:52:00.000-08:00

rest our name and reputation on the shelves

don't debate it, the bank doors open at nine am

neuter my heart for the clearance rack by the door

when they leave, we'll move units and opinion will drift

cork the argument, just promise your commercial best

slosh through the chords to find the familiar, find the familiar

if this dream had any dead president on either side

It'd be a smirking george Jr.
They've fell asleep on the trigger
we're making sure we pay the dine in tax
You can have your fast food lifestyle

I need something clean and fresh
auto-tune the gravel in my throat to spit pure sugar
fumble my lifeblood cause I care little for guitar
I only play my greed compass to sniff out the cash in
let's choreograph our angst and piss on our own legs
the ears and the eyes will agree, we're the new old
champions from the sewage of "punk is dead"
I'm going to leave it all for the first suit at my door
I'm going to regurgitate every sell out speech
They've fell asleep on the trigger
we're making sure we pay the dine in tax
You can have your fast food lifestyle
I need something clean and fresh
I'm content but not docile

I'm livid but not mad

I'm pissed but steady

I keep my heart seperate from the checkbook

dine in tax

2008-12-10T08:57:00.000-08:00

Did you know that most fast food restruants charge you extra to dine in? Isn't that weird? You learn lots of small things while on tour.

day seven

2008-12-10T05:40:00.000-08:00

So we've been staying with On My Honor for the past two days outside of knoxville. The off day of the tour was cool. The kids went to guitar center and michael and I went to see the new punisher. It was cock rock from start to finish. He was punching through heads and blowing bad guys up left and right.if anyone reads this blog, go check out on my honor, they were super cool to us. Also, if it helps to motivate you... They're actually good, so hit them up.

CRH

5th day in

2008-12-08T18:00:00.000-08:00

We're playing at a saloon tonight. One thing that I noticed that I had forgotten about drunk people is the amount of cologne or perfume they wear. Which it doesn't make sense because most of the people in these effing places are bellowing out smoke like crazy. So I guess it's an attempt to cover up that offensive smell of beer, liquor, and cigarettes. I don't know if this is our crowd but we're going to rock out anyway.

Soooooo, to continue the description of the night... the show ended up being ballin like crazy. The drunkards mingled with the local fans of on my honor(they hosted the show). I think it all turned out really awesome. The guys from on my honor gave us a place to stay which lead to the two incredible caps on the evening:

A. I was able to cook and prepare tia peanut sauce ramonam

B. I was able to sleep on a couch, awesome
Rightez

day four

2008-12-07T23:48:00.000-08:00

So I was able to take a shower today, and it felt amazing. I forgot to bring a towel and soap. Even without those, hot water running over my nastiness was super refreshing. I want to tour forever. This is an insane amount of fun. We played to two people tonight and it was still a kickarse show. We just rocked our little crowd and skeedaddled. The owner of the venue let us stay with him. He has a super nice family and a cool place. God bless whoever invented diy touring!

crh

so third day of mini refrigeraTOUR

2008-12-07T11:13:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting with zack in a mall somewhere north of chattanooga, there's a speaker blaring stuttering christmas music next to my head and I smell like the human manifestation of a locker room toilet. Friday in peachtree city I fell through the damn stage and almost broke my leg. Thank god my parents built me to be a sturdy old battle axe. I just want a shower so I can stop running away from the balls smell being emitted from my crotch. I'm pretty stoked on tour though. Five people showed up to the show last night, it was prolly the most rocking thing ever.

CRH

"stay posi, stay clean"

2008-12-03T23:49:00.000-08:00

I've seen room fulls living like creeps from one escape to the next
I carried myself like a hermit once and life just gave me shit
You can't make lemonade with human waste, all you can do is flush
turned the lights on, left the room, purpose left the creepers crushed
I sided with indifference hard, falling when my conscious let me
But it doesn't mean I didn't try, the expense of failure has it's fee
function moved my agenda in, ambitions were quick to claim their seat
pissing razors has nothing on guilt, I'm a motivational hit and run stuck on repeat
I believe we can stay posi, stay clean, and still play to defiance
I believe I can waiver ill temperament, my own visceral diet
I've seen graduating classes swim in 150 proof quickly to swerve home in the dark
I swam deep, touched bottom, then fell asleep while manually steering the car
You can't be saved with pickled lungs and a stone liver to match
You can however call the scars friends, trip into meaning with misdirected romance
the soc's call it a social coma, boss can keep calling me a prude,
I call it surprisingly agnostic yet always closely heaven approved
my life isn't stillborn, it's a am track train with no brakes
I'm don't know where I'm going, but moving to me in any direction is all the same

italian recut

2008-12-02T18:17:00.000-08:00

damn this empty space in my head being filled with useless mechanics
one chance was the gift I was given and now I'll pull it forward
the tribe has superstitions, they'll burn any swift tongue at the stake
but I'm free to roam like a buffalo in this inner city zoo cage
it's a conversation between me and society
a shouting match with everyone else winning
I'll hold my pride under for the next few years
I know I'm just an animal waiting to be skinned
me in fifteen years? I'm aware of our collective vision
I'll be broken like a horse, mugged by the building tension
rise then fall, I'll stand then crawl towards small open hands
I won't be afraid to say, I'm fucked and happy with my existence
it's a conversation between me and society
a shouting match with everyone else winning
I'll hold my pride under for the next few years
I know I'm just an animal waiting to be skinned
some things aren't the same as you begin to increase in age
I've always hoped for the best, now I pray for it
some things aren't the same as you begin to increase in age
I've always hoped for the best, now I pray for it
I'm not big enough for change
but I'm big enough to piss you off
I'll always be this way
because I can be

reputable unknown seeking profitable gain

2008-12-02T17:41:00.000-08:00

I want to tour anartica, box polar bears for gas/
the irony is it's more promising than booking in Birmingham/
city kids just don't give a shit, why do we still love these shows/
we pay bills and work our jobs, we don't care we're fucking broke/
sorry, sorry but you'd never book us anyway/
sorry, sorry, the elites don't approve/
sorry, sorry but you'd never book us anyway/
sorry, sorry, I don't need you to approve/
new city, new cold floor, and mall punks to mock my band/
of course I'm as happy as a pig bleeding to death/
I joke on you like I joke on me and my oldest friends/
you're not above my humor even with these benediction trends/
sorry, sorry but you'd never book us anyway/
sorry, sorry, the elites don't approve/
sorry, sorry but you'd never book us anyway/
sorry, sorry, I don't need you to approve/
forgive a small town kid for fucking up worship/
you all seem to be very cool in that indie film kind of way/
I'll leave you to your victims and your good, clean fun/
I'll find a dark corner, i didn't mean to step into frame/
booking hell is hell in itself/
you're cool like Christmas eve/
booking hell is hell in itself/
long live your scene/

Fun times

2008-12-01T22:48:00.000-08:00

we went to b'ham today to track our kd cover with Austin from RSJ. We had to retrack it after the intial recording with our friend from Madison didn't turn out that well. He was a super cool dude and he had a very chill set up. I really enjoy recording in people's houses. Home studios are the shit.

After we were done we went to michael and corey's gf's house. I'm sitting in the livingroom typing this beast up. I don't really have much to say besides I'm stoked on breathing.

Charles H.
LFT

stay posi

2008-11-30T02:51:00.000-08:00

Staying up all night to send out dozens of emails trying to book a tour that no one really wants to see.

Driving an hour and a half to play a shitty show to a crowd that mocks you.

Mall punks in their early thirties saying, "I want to hear a breakdown"

Finding out my italian recut zombi: dawn of the dead is exactly like the american release of dawn of the dead.

Waiting to get back home to eat after a day without food and then only eating honey buns and cheese chex mix

None of these things get me down, I'm posi like there's no tomorrow. It feels so good to see the gold rim around the dirty dish. I really understand those bubbly bastards that everyone hates to be around. I'm not saying this world isn't fucked, but I believe everyone should feel pretty awesome that we don't live in a crazy hell hole torn by war. The usa is okay, not the best, not the worst, but it's definately not as bad as some. We have our greed, coruption, crazy fundementalists, crazy liberals, consumerism, barbaric traditions, prejudice, and bigotry, BUT it's not as bad as some places.

Stay posi,
Charles H.

'inside this"

2008-11-26T20:35:00.000-08:00

I was never a fan of fair weather bands
they love the scene when it keeps them fed
contracts mark the change, a slew of calls
I just want to tour and play like the rest

If you wanted this, if you needed this
you should have known before
If you wanted this, if you needed this
this life would have never been a chore

there's a roll call at birth for those moving forward
I answered I think, but I'll never really know
If I didn't, I'll chase down this life like a wild dog
but I won't die with regret or the thought of what I left

I was never a fan of alpha male stepdads
they keep you down to keep themselves up
praise a divorce between two grown children at best
I just want to live in peace and feel free to think

media, art, appearence

2008-11-22T11:02:00.000-08:00

I argue with myself a lot and both sides always have really good points. This house is divided, but it makes for a pretty cool checking of judgment. K, so I've been talking with Cory and Lou about some of our ad's, etc. and it has put me in a mood where I constantly second guess my first decision on a matter, which could be cool. K, anyway.. so the subject is thus. I feel like we don't need ten trillion promo shots of us splattered all over the net and whatever media our underground culture has because:

A. Our image has nothing to do with this band or who we are as individuals
B. If you see a goofy ass band, even if the promo shot looks awesome, it can turn you off from the band. People will sometimes make an instant decision on something because of it's appearance.

So, my idea is keep most of our ad's ambiguous to a degree where we are branded by the material and not the image. The reason I say this is because a lot of the bands are hyped on the mold of their genre, in an age of endless media we have a set idea of what everything should look like. Kids will consciously and unconsciously reject you if you don't fit into what they consider to be what you should be.

Here's the problem, I don't give a shit what people think about me. I love my band and I think we're okay and I am confident in the material. Now as a intelligent guy I know what a safe investment is and I know you shouldn't throw money into any pit of fire. So we have a problem, we will spend the money on the ad's and they will go to print. So play it smart or play it "I don't give a fuck"?

I don't give a fuck doesn't always work out. also there is a certain amount of my ideals on the ambiguous ad's side, because then the music and material will be judged for what it is, and not what we look like. fuck me.

drop out and go broke tour

2008-11-22T01:05:00.000-08:00

Sooo, tour so far. We have played three dates so far on this week tour because last Saturday after packing up to leave to our date in TN we turned our vehicle on to find nothing, we actually didn't turn on the vehicle. We turned the key and heard a click. Well after hours of tinkering and finally figuring out that there was no way this thing was going to run, we called and canceled the show. We hate doing this. So the next day we try to fix it ourselves and found out quickly Michael and I are no mechanics. We had to get a tow truck to take it to seretha's uncle who is a mechanic. The man prestigiously did the work at the cost of the expenses and we got the beast running. Well we drove down the road and we found out the speedometer didn't work. We had to take it back for that, so three hours before we had to leave for the show we didn't cancel we got the 4runner back and we left.

K, so we find the venue in peachtree city, and it's rocking. Lonely as shit and camping deep in the business side of town, this warehouse is empty besides one band and our friends in the disregardables. Jett hooked us up with some pasta and a place to stay that night. We spent the night talking with chex and crew about music, etc. The next day we headed to Augusta.

The traffic on 75 going to 20 east was ridiculous, people are godless beast in high traffic. We finally hit 20 east and everything was smooth sailing from there. We ended up coming a day early because we couldn't fill in a date for Thursday. Cory from our label was super awesome and i think he was everything we expected him to be. We talked music, movies, and business till his dad went to sleep for work and then we hit the sack. The next day we all woke up, took a shower, and hit up the local wally world for some 2 dollar meals. The show at Skate city was pretty cool, though very cold. The first band took two hours to set up and start their set. they were a bunch of high school metalcore kids writing 03 tunes, the second band was pretty good, they sounded very similar to cartel and fob, and then we stepped up to the plate and stuttered through our set at a breakneck speed. That's how we do, when we're nervous... we just play fast and hard, and hope kids get it.

Today we're playing a sector 7g, coming back to cory's for one more night, then taking the seven hour drive back home. So far the name of this tour has been perfect. drop out and go broke. I still think it's a wonderful thing though. Everything feels super good.

hope

2008-11-12T20:37:00.000-08:00

For once in my life, I felt proud of my country. We all know what day I'm talking about.. it was November 4th, 2008. I can remember when I still believed in the shit I ranted about. It was a long time ago, before all these pack mules for discipline ate away my heart. I can't really remember when it was lost, maybe it was the time I spent with the underbelly of an inbred faction of the mall punks and the dopey counter culture. All the seedy afternoons spent downing drugs and searching the stars for meaning and truth. After years of pursuit it leaves a heavy hangover. I came out of the haze grasping for a breath of reality. it was a literal mind fuck, and we were promiscuous with our minds because it was killing two birds with one stone: we were disconnecting from society and it was an intellectual excuse to sit on our asses and waste away. After what I'd like to call my sobering period, I looked around and saw a futile youth clawing at the heel of real competence. We had given up our minds to a social machine of intoxication and that's how we were losing. Forget the long arm of the man coming late at night in our bedrooms to give out free reach arounds to any dirty, indifferent bag of shit, we were fucking ourselves with a smile on our face. I am the machine, my friends are the machine, we are the grinding gears of social irrevelance. So I started trying to make things happen with music. It was one of the few things left untainted in my life. I pushed the chords out, birthed some lyrics, and slipped into a new attitude to take on my duty as a human being. I wanted to be in step with social consciousness. Out of the years spent doing so, I learned the footwork for change. it wa s aslow persistance to move forward, over obstacles, over set backs, through opposition and the heirachy of natural selection. I made my postion work for me.

well, I never really thought about any of it coming to a head, atleast to a point where I could sit down and look at the tv screen and be like, wow, there's change. I just witnessed it. I felt it in my heart. We just moved. As a nation, we took one step forward.

it was prolly one of the most beautiful things I've every taken part in, and it changed me from a dead cell of hope, to an ember of fucking militant rage. I will not stand for the things i know are wrong anymore. this is me at full speed and I'm going to fucking break the safety on my mind just so I can work at full speed. I love myself and I love my fellow man. Together we'll make everything we hope for happen.

the heart of the american dream

2008-11-12T20:20:00.000-08:00

I just watched another documentary on hunter s. thompson and as always, it was pretty awe inspiring. His words are so fucking strong and honest. He is the single greatest writer at capturing the bastardization of the American dream. He pens the depravity of a capitalist nation full of car salesmen like a fucking one eye'd man in a room full of the blind.

love it,

crh
lft

two song demo

2008-11-11T14:34:00.000-08:00

"Joking Sovereignty : an empire of grief"

if there's a lesson to be learned
the lesson's in your head
grief isn't sovereign
it's like a cloud in the distance
the rain feeds life
so why add to standing water
why add, why add
to any real problems you have

you're building an empire of grief
brick by fucking brick
it stands as tall as your arms will let it

i saw some high school friends
at the movies yesterday
they reminded me of who i am
and who i use to be
I'm so glad that
happiness is now familiar
I don't have to die for
the credibility of my art

you're building an empire of grief
brick by fucking brick
it stands as tall as your arms will let it

thank Buddha, Allah, or god, whoever you believe in
for gracing my face with this smile
like it's out of our fucking hands?

"Sebaceous"

from under smells mugging my every mood
this greasy hair won't cut it, i need to cut it
gritty taste at every wake, but i still won't brush
I've got people to avoid and things to forget to do
some of these statements are true but none are related
clean cut, no rust sometimes means the worst of the worst
ugly and functioning, I'm a machine for errands
spend some time with me on the underbelly of everything

old friends

2008-10-27T02:49:00.000-07:00

You ever run into people and through explaining what you've done over the past years, you realize how you're a completely different person than what you used to be? This is a rhetorical question because no one reads this bastard... yeah.

It's just insane to think who I was and who I am. I can actually let myself be happy now. I mean, not saying it's not a struggle, because it is. I'm just saying every fucking moment of my life is purpose filled and not like in a religious, "I need to create an ominous figure to fill purposeful." way. I'm saying I know what's right and I feel good on a daily basis making those things happen around me. It feels good to do good and know it will prolly never repay you. I think that's my main hang up on Christianity, not the philosophy but the organized cult aspect. People don't do things cause it's good, they trick themselves into thinking that if they do good, they will be rewarded for it later on. Why do you need to be rewarded to do good if you are truly good? What if god came down and was like, "Even if you obey me, you will still burn forever and i will take away everything you ever loved." How many Christians would throw in the towel and start fucking, fighting, drinking, swearing, raping, stealing, etc. I mean, seriously... why do you need someone or something to give you a reward for doing good? You know what's good mostly just by interacting with other human beings, you know how you get treated and you know how you want to be treated. Why do you need a reward to follow through with that? I don't know, it's pretty fucking selfish, the whole idea... worship, serve, but at the same time reward? It's a trick into thinking you're not doing the selfish thing by the first two actions but the real reason most follow the rules is because of the last. Yeah, we don't mind doing good, but we better get all our community hours counted so we don't end up serving time, know what i mean?

Anyway, the point of this whole conversation was for me to state, I was an idiot a long time ago and I'm kind of still an idiot. The difference is now i strive for something bigger than me and that really makes me happy. It was something i couldn't find a long time ago through whatever drugs i took and whatever alcohol i consumed. I'm glad i found peace. i didn't mean for this blog to turn into a rant on religion, but i see liars and fakes spiting snakes covered in bible verses every day. it's sicking to take something and twist it till it covers your body of lies.

Eastern Frontier

2008-10-27T02:40:00.000-07:00

So lft is going to start touring and being broke for a living. I'm extremely stoked because before we came to this point, I was doing the whole broke lifestyle as a hobby. Being broke is the worst hobby you can have.... But on a real note, words can't even describe how happy I am to even get to hit the road. We're going to be playing new cities every night to promote for our full length. I mean, no one is going to instantly become a fan after they hear us live, but there's a chance they might be intrigued and then follow that curiosity to our page.

New landscapes, accents, smells, attitudes, foods, and venues every night for months at a time. We're going to just sweep across this eastern frontier like a southern wind of punk rock. Loads of experiences just crammed into one short span of time. The kids will be learning quick and I'll have to be learning quicker. Thank god, Buddha, or whoever is in charge of giving us this chance.

domestication with house plants

2008-10-19T02:45:00.000-07:00

I'm going to write a hardback novel
it's going to dazzle and amaze every mind that refuses to be happy
they'll cough up quotes like a tb patients running marathons
It'll be a provocative bore

I'm going to write a movement on a stone tablet
everyone will dance elegantly for discipline
I'll whisper brimstone, I'll laugh with ease
I'll be the best reason for your kids to hate you

I'm going to sleep on the couch till five PM
visitors will scream as they gather around
They'll beg for change, they'll deliver emptiness
and I'll sleep to sleep in again

Tripping Balls

2008-10-19T02:27:00.001-07:00

A long time ago I use to do lots of drugs and I would probably consider myself to be shady. I guess I thought that the drugs would alter my perspective on things. I ate shrooms, snorted cocaine, huffed ether, drank and ate a mess load of mysterious items to alter my state of mind. All of this was to get a different view. I guess I thought somehow I'd consume whatever drug it was and I'd find beauty. But it never made sense, now looking back on those times, I never fully understood what was happening to me and what was going on. i was so quick to find another reality and I couldn't even comprehend the one in my lap. As you get older, you don't really need stuff like that to pull inspiration from, cause if you're living a full life, you have an overload of inspiration to draw from. The first four years out of high school is completely insane. Everything you thought you knew, you don't and everything you hated slowly turns into a mirror. You look around and what you thought was a hell hole becomes a softly lit room, perfect for you. The ups are really downs, and the downs are really ups.

here's another thing I found, sometimes saying the most meaningful statements are really the easiest things to say. You think something is complex and overwhelming, it's really just a new old waiting to be picked. Poetic moments are usually easy and warm. It's not this cold meticuleous, stoic collection of verse and ryhme. It's a fucking gentle beast that hugs you into submission. It's something you can't fight with logic and skill. It happens and then it's gone.

It's so goddamn insane how simple and beautiful life is but everyone is just set on putting a cigarette out on it.

eleven eleven

2008-10-18T04:52:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty certain this is the final title to lft's new album. It means a lot to me personally. It reminds me of all the nights for the past three and half years when I had nothing going for me except these songs and this band. I'd be struggling with justifying my existence, struggling with even wanting to do this, and eleven eleven rolled around and I always wished for the same thing. Anything could have happened that day and when I saw eleven eleven hit the clock I knew what I wanted.through being homeless, my mom being sent to prison, breakup's, mental breakdowns, and every woe that's stricken me over the years. I knew what I wanted when eleven eleven came. This world tried to drown me in piss, but I found a turd to keep me afloat until everything was flushed away, ha.

genre bending

2008-10-14T00:41:00.000-07:00

I want to be more creative, I sometimes feel like I have to dumb myself down for people around me to get my writing. Maybe instead me having to dumb myself down, people should smart themselves up. Ha... that's a great argument with really bad grammar. I'm a fool when it comes to the English language, but I have billions of ideas. I want to paint the alley ways with words and metaphors. I want the reader to swim in my thoughts. I don't want to offer up kool-aid when my guests need milk. Does anyone understand? No, no one even reads. Even if they did they'd write me off as a pretentious ass.

nothing fancy

2008-10-13T03:58:00.000-07:00

I wish I had more things about me that I could use to entertain peopl. Wouldn't that be super cool if I could do hat tricks or cartwheels? Everyone has something cool they can do, then it comes around to my turn and like charlie brown said, "I got a rock." Haha, does anyone remember life with louie? It was a cartoon series in the mid to late nineties about louie andersons childhood. When I was a kid my first step dad would always call me louie because I was a chubby, weird detached kid. I think we are all the same person were at eight. We're just adult characatures of our childhood selves. I'm the same person I was, core wise. Lots of things have changed but it's more of the situations have turned into adult situations. I'm basically the same, just the things I deal with are different.

Final Fantasy X

2008-10-10T00:47:00.000-07:00

Christian and I have been bonding over this game for the past two weeks. Also, doing that whole yard work lumberjack deal too. It's fun to work with friends.

It's been so long since I've really hung out with friends. Everything has been an endless march onto music. It's kind of like rushing the beat, I've been spending so much energy trying to keep things going that I'm making everything discordant and rough. My life is a stuttering jumble.

I'm like a clown juggling foster kids who are in return while I'm juggling them, juggling chainsaws

defense

2008-10-09T02:08:00.000-07:00

I think projection is the most common defense mechanism. I was just looking through a lot of older blogs and I noticed I often tear myself apart just to know how to tear someone else apart. It's funny, my best weapon is my own faults. The more you understand yourself the more you understand "your enemies", why you're creating art, and if this is all just one big bandaide for a much bigger problem. I have lots of problems but I think it's safe to say I've explored them all thoroughly and music is a small bandaide for my problems. It helps, but for me to get rid of the shit storm in my closet I'd need two hundred grand in theropy to deal. It'd be like shoveling shit at a farm with five hundred horses with a teaspoon.

writing never ends

2008-10-09T01:37:00.000-07:00

I constantly question my intelligence, because I hear people claim it often when I don't really agree with their opinion. Am I one of those people? Are you really that intelligent when you have to claim it like a cheap tatto at every social gathering or huddle of individuals? It should be a trait that is bestowed upon you, not bought at every bonus store on every corner. Back to the question, I write to write better, but I'm not sure if my intelligence will keep my writing dull. Piss I just want to pick up a pen and have this shit flow. Like kicking a garbage can over in the street.

so worried

2008-09-24T07:59:00.000-07:00

it's insane how tense I've been lately. this thing with the kids parents is stressign me the hell out. I've told them that I'll meet any requirements they have so the kids can tour but they don't have any requirements. They just have all these crazy "what if"'s. I understand it's their children, but you only have one set span to live. These kids have been working semi-hard on making this band work. Musically they all contribute to lft. It's just insane to let your kids excell at something and then not take it all the way. I mean, if tese kids were playing baseball and they got to go to regionals, then nationals.. would their parents have a problem with it? It kills me because I know how much it's going to kill them if their parents don't chill on this.

editorial correction

2008-09-09T01:18:00.000-07:00

In an earlier blog I posted that I wasn't naturally an angry person, but in reality I'm a very angry person. I see people dodging ignorance daily, having to curve their every thought when their peer is too dense to do the same for them. I have a intolerance for this senseless habit. What's so wrong with being respectful? Why must we be condesending without right or cause? I stay pissed at all times. Everyone is dying to listen to themselves preach. Well I have a few words for these people and you can bet they will be exercised with all future lft releases.

forward

2008-09-09T01:00:00.000-07:00

Can a document of small town social climate be considered a forward motion, or is it just a kick in the can for pop culture? I don't want to consider myself in the same ranks as paris hilton. I guess everyone wants to be on the front of every social movement. It's a scarey thing to evaluate your place in the big picture.

splitting hairs with ex-friends

2008-09-07T15:46:00.000-07:00

we can pretend in the house of swine
we remember good times
fuck those drugs we shared on weekends
it only kept us on the fringe
graduation brought an end to courtesy
if only I could ever make you believe
there's good in men's heart
there's good in you and me

cultural poise

2008-09-05T17:17:00.000-07:00

I feel like I'm being attacked by the tv. Just complete overload when it comes to pop culture, too much reality, too much make up, too much editing, too much gentlmen juice coming at my eyes and ears.a dump truck of media parking on my chest. Fooooooking nasty and debilitating.

PREEEEtentious

2008-09-03T18:10:00.000-07:00

sometimes striving for better work can just come off as a selfish struggle. I mean I write music for a combination of reasons: for the kids who need decent bands to relate to; To keep what i consider decent music alive and breathing; to extract all my passive aggressive behavior into a constructive form; and generally not to feel so insignificant. So it's half selfish and half artistic.

wellllllll, then I started to think about it, most artists are into art for selfish reasons. they might not display it daily but really, why else would you sit around trying to think of a way to creatively say you're like everyone else and you want to share that with the world. Just the fact that someone would think they are blessed enough to be able to entertain a crowd with their thoughts and feelings is pretty conceded. the more and more I think about it, the more I agree with the pissy Charles inside.

BUUUTTTT, then you have moments where you play a show and everyone there is having a great time, yelling their heads off, and then you know why.. we're literally creating a piece of heaven on earth. This sense of community and warmth between everyone. We're all sweating, screaming, and having fun. No one feels out of place. You just feel like you belong, you're accepted, someone understands you, and that makes going back to a hostile home worth it. You know it doesn't matter if you're a fatty, smell weird, act strange, or generally can't get along with the general human population, cause when you're here.. you know the bands, they're your friends, you know what they're about cause you know their lyrics, and they don't have to technically relate to you as an individual.. they have your music and your band to know, be friends with, to listen to...

maybe I'm an idiot, but that's the way I feel

Mary Magda-laid

2008-08-29T10:52:00.000-07:00

Read between the finds, it's no season to end as a saint
After centuries of dancing in hell, you're finally dying in heaven
let the church have the pleasure of defecating on your legacy
cause no one knows where we all go unless it's expo facto

the fury of faith keeps us choked out by the belt
that lays our southern states askew
as we ants run from the magnifier
the corpses of free thought conquer the skyline

love held beneath the pool should keep the manners intact
whores don't bleed like us unless you pay them
even if the lies held water like a bare glass
would you still be right to judge or be judged?

the fury of faith keeps us choked out by the belt
that lays our southern states askew
as we ants run from the magnifier
the corpses of free thought conquer the skyline

Muse Or Remuse

2008-08-04T17:00:00.001-07:00

styrofoam kisses blew off and on
she says she's chaos scripted on tanned skin
if I could muster the mustard to smile
I'd know the weaker side of me would win
sea, the world, a vast ocean ever churning
you're one grain following it's motion
high hopes to low tides on the coolest of nights
you're not worth the breath, nor the commotion

You're not that moving
inertia bled too long for me
my feet move forward forever
no matter how sheltered the canopy

invite me in, the best in is out
though the trivial beg to differ, I've already been found

shuttered and whispered, it's a little dead skin
I want more than friction, beg me for solace
temporary and meaningless to an cracked chest
a home without doors is secure demolished
towards the east, I rise towards misfortune
waiting for myself, I'm south of future mistakes
directions give me nowhere, a shot in the air
hands earning comfort leave me the same

You're not that moving
inertia bled too long for me
my feet move forward forever
no matter how sheltered the canopy

invite me in, the best in is out
though the trivial beg to differ, I've already been found

"drop the flood"

2008-07-15T20:18:00.001-07:00

drop the flood, I'm ready for the next welterweight
the weaker the swing the better I feel at night
like a two bedroom bottle with a wondrous view
the cusp of your hand cradles me to sleep

spiders and no future never scared me
your eyes and stern voice made me shake
We chased arguments like snitches and debtors
but I'm using the memories for kindle , you should do the same

work the corners, bleed for more men than me
I'm tired, I'm finding rude very comfortable to do
do you want the feeling intact and everything alright
find something useful to do while I find the truth

grooms aren't made, choices and toys are made
I'll locate the workshop and destroy the catty workers
like a gift horse coughing up verses of a prophet
one look will put you riding shotgun

spiders and no future never scared me
your eyes and stern voice made me shake
We chased arguments like snitches and debtors
but I'm using the memories for kindle , you should do the same

work the corners, bleed for more men than me
I'm tired, I'm finding rude very comfortable to do
do you want the feeling intact and everything alright
find something useful to do while I find the truth

Sparklers are grossly inappropriate for the funeral

2008-07-15T00:44:00.000-07:00

run to the kitchen, find every sharp untensil, inhale deeply
soak your lungs in epson salt till the hours become days
throw all your money at the mirror, wipe until the brown becomes green
hope for a day it all means as little to you as it does to me

sleep, eat, sing out of key
sleep
eat
sing out of key

Will the scales of judgment weigh the plasma screen
Will the gravestone read she dined expensively
or will it read her hands were steady in the turmoil

I would pay the down payment for a better life,
if most aspects were a self-employed right

crash the teeth, the miles climb higher, forget to breathe
no book will put the next foot forward, to hell with it
Bunk in the closet, wait for Cain to whisper a will
disappear, the clouds rain piss and complaints here

sleep, eat, sing out of key
sleep
eat
sing out of key

Will the scales of judgment weigh the plasma screen
Will the gravestone read she dined expensively
or will it read her hands were steady in the turmoil

I would pay the down payment for a better life,
if most aspects were a self-employed right

Here's a fun way to write albums

2008-07-12T18:09:00.000-07:00

pretend every word and idea will define you as a band.

while we're talking about it, I'm thinking our next album should be called The Bomb Kids.

here's the tracking listing.

1. I'm ready to sell out, piss on crowds, and start some kind of drug addiction.
2. Break dance, not jaws
3. My friends tell me you're the guy to see when it comes to premiere German weaponry
4. Curse, apologize, excuse yourself
5. Numbers, above all else
6. Circle pits give you street cred
7. I spend my days and nights worrying about you
8. Drop the flood
9. One more year for the lady
10. Sparklers will be highly inappropriate for the funeral
11. 256
12. Too old to sleep
13. Fire me

I'll have the lyrics up in a bit, I think.

another backyard fumble

2008-07-11T21:52:00.000-07:00

It seems like that fat kid mentality will never escape me. Every time someone relies on me, I fumble the ball at the goal line because I'm out of breathe and hungry. Self-loathing is another hobby that won't go away. I feel bad, I feel worse, and it just gets better.

pisssssszzz

The Bomb Kids

2008-07-05T01:15:00.000-07:00

as I swam out the bathroom/ all eyes attempted to not notice/
swallowing the knife and avoiding the lights/ they'd have to dig deep for resolution
one ear turned at the drip/ she knew the sound as my heavy shell hit
I was out like at the end of senior year and quiet like in nineth grade/ twelve cuts cut all the risk

Leave your pity, take the guilt
I'm only looking for a warmth I once read about
no gravestones or dramatic line of cars
Just tired and damn sure of it

when my mind is sure then my hands will follow

I grazed a life not lost, but abandoned/ sunken in to a cool, dry place in my head/
away from the hum of a fleshy machine/ I felt a weight on my chest/

Leave your pity, take the guilt
I'm only looking for a warmth I once read about
no gravestones or dramatic line of cars
Just tired and damn sure of it

when my mind is sure then my hands will follow

cancer

2008-06-29T10:48:00.000-07:00

being a cancer should be a condition. the bleeding whiny heart of society. always feeling like the victim in every situation. I mean, it's all complete bullshit and you know it, but you always feel it. You have to keep you head above your own pity or you'll end up looking like an ass in almost any atmosphere. I just realized a lot of people around me view me in this light. Oh well, they can keep on thinking what they want. Faith may be able to move mountains but it can not change anyone's mind. So my faith in humans will still march on, but it prolly won't change anyone's opinion of me.

Thoughts I know are true

2008-06-28T20:05:00.000-07:00

I think I want to write super catchy music. Music that everyone can enjoy. I want to write music that in five years, I won't think is ridiculous. I have never been overly aggressive guy so why would any hostility come across in the music I create. I know why, and it's really simple. You grow up hearing things and feeling things, sooner or later all of that emotion is going to come out in any form it can. So my lyrics are stereotypically passive-aggressive or straight out pissy. I've grown into a artist that expresses his inner fat kid feelings. I let people walk all over me when I have a lion locked away in my chest and I have the key in my hands. Why? I want to break the f**king cycle. Heal me hands, my strength is the only that I can rely on.

CRH

bloom till it hurts

2008-06-27T16:29:00.000-07:00

bloom till it hurts
stretch till your fingers pass the tree tops
when other vegetation becomes jealous
leave the mowers running hard at your feet

leave the labels for canned goods
cause I'm a living breathing thing
don't make an assessment till you see me
preserved and waiting on your shelf

maybe some day, a garden won't seem so threatening
and when you're plants are leaning hard towards the sun
your first thought won't be regrow for failure